Pulse
by josicuervo
Summary: Lex accidentally learns a secret about Chloe and does his best to help.
1. Chapter 1: Discovery

**Chapter 1: Discovery**

Lex was in a state of shock.

It didn't happen very often, but once in a great while, when he least expected it, something would happen that rocked him to the core.

Something embarrassing and potentially damaging to his already fragile sanity.

It wasn't a coincidence that he found himself here. He'd come willingly, unable to stop himself from checking in on his oldest and dearest friend after only a few days of silence.

His compulsive nature led him to her doorstep, urging him to use the hidden key he knew so well when his knock went unanswered. And that's what made him enter her apartment without invite. Unable to leave well enough alone and accept that maybe she hadn't felt like returning his calls.

He liked to think knew her better than that. She always called him back. Even in her most furious of moments. She'd at least call him back to yell, lecture or gloat. There was never just silence.

Lex and Chloe had become friendly ages ago, back in the days when they both lived in Smallville. They'd had many falling outs, bickering and harassing each other to the point people thought them to be enemies.

But in the end friendship always prevailed. She was far too stubborn to let his arrogance drive her away and he was far too stubborn to let her prying nature end the only real friend he'd ever had.

No one understood. No one could even begin to fathom what kept them together even as outside sources constantly drove them apart.

Such as her ever-changing friendship with Clark Kent which had put a hole or two in their relationship, and at one point was even the reason he decided to cut all ties with her.

He'd talked himself into believing that leaving her to the monotony of her flannel king would teach her a lesson.

He'd caved after only a day.

He often wondered why she put up with him. She'd spent endless hours ranting at him about his arrogance, his presumption, his penchant for brooding and hiding behind his nature. She supported him at his worst and took him to task at his best, but for some reason she never, ever gave up on him.

At least not seriously and never for very long.

And he found himself wondering more and more often why she even bothered with him.

Not that she was an easy person to be friends with. They'd had many a row over her nosiness, her inability to leave well enough alone, her penchant for questioning him to death on subjects she knew he could never discuss freely.

The difference, however, was that he knew why he put up with her.

He knew every day of his life why he kept her prying, stubborn ass as close to him as possible.

He'd been in love with her for years.

He'd first noticed a shift in his mindset around her sophomore year at Met U, though it took him a few years to fully acknowledge the intensity of his feeling for her.

After months and months of fawning all over Lana Lang the truth had finally become glaringly obvious. Lana represented a fantasy he'd always sought, but Chloe represented a reality he needed to survive.

At first, he'd ignored this revelation. Kept right on courting Lana, pretending to be in love with her even as his imagination bedded a spunky blonde with breasts to die for.

But after a while, the farce had blow up in his face anyway.

Lana had turned up pregnant. She'd told Lex the child was his, and he'd accepted her word as such because at the time he'd really had no reason to doubt her. They'd mostly parted ways by then, but he did his best to support her in any way he could, putting her up in an apartment and taking care of her monetarily if not emotionally.

Lana seemed content with the arrangement, never making any real demands and never once propositioning him for more. Hindsight being what it is, this should've set off alarm bells in his brain, but he'd just been thankful that her demanding nature had been swayed by the trials of pregnancy.

And things had gone well, even with Chloe's constantly reminding him that Lana was a fake who was perfectly capable of whoring herself if she felt an urge. She refused to believe that he'd impregnated Lana and adamantly insisted that he have a paternity test.

But in the end the test was unnecessary and it was Chloe who got the last laugh.

Because the child arrived looking as un-Luthorlike as a child could get, immediately eliminating Lex as the possible sire.

Lana had indeed fooled around with another man. A man who always looked for ways to take a shot at Lex. A man who hated him more than most, though maybe not as much as some.

Pete Ross.

Lex hadn't seen Pete in years, not since he'd moved away from Smallville with his mother years before. He hadn't even thought of him in that time, the boy's actions being of no consequence to him either way.

Until then, of course.

He'd been angry, embarrassed and maybe even a little hurt, though he'd been sure that he hadn't been nearly as upset as everyone thought him to be.

Mostly he'd been – relieved.

But Chloe's snorting and snickering hadn't helped at all. They'd ended up having a terrible fight about it, her snide comments finally cutting him to the point of lashing out at her and once he'd started he'd found it very difficult to stop.

Once his anger had faded, though, he'd been taken aback by the look on her face.

Triumph. Amusement. A little bit of understanding.

She always could play him like a pro. And he always played right into her manipulative hands. Like a naïve pawn in her life's plan.

Things had settled down quickly after dispensing of Lana. Pete took the insipid brunette to Washington and after that Lex and Chloe had fallen into any easy routine of give and take; mostly him taking and her giving.

Not that there wasn't a price to everything she gave him.

She took without asking. Demanding his heart. His sanity. Sometimes driving him to very brink of madness before slowly pulling him back in for more.

He was sure she had no idea what kind of control she had over him.

And that fact only made it all the more painful when their relationship remained platonically intimate.

But it was this that kept her on his mind at the most inopportune moments.

And this that made him seek her out even when she might not want to be found.

He smelled it as soon as he closed the door. His nostrils flared as the familiar, musky scent of her heated flesh permeated his senses. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes and letting the sweet smell wash over him, his body to tightening reflexively.

He'd know that smell anywhere. He yearned for it. Craved it. Needed it.

He'd smelled it many times before. The first time it had happened by chance, but subsequently each occurrence after that was brought on by manipulation. His very own, unashamed manipulation.

This past year, for Chloe's birthday, he had arranged for her to learn the tango. This, of course, meant she would need a partner, so he very generously offered up his own services as her lead.

He actually hadn't realized at the time the kind of physical predicament this kind of closeness would put him in.

She'd caught on very quickly, picking up the basic steps within the first couple of lessons and before Lex knew what had happened, she was rubbing all over him, her breasts against his chest, her knee on his hip and her hot groin rubbing against the top of his thigh.

By the fifth lesson he'd had to excuse himself to the restroom, appalled with his lack of control as he jerked off with practiced efficiency. Twice.

It wasn't until a few lessons after that that Lex realized he wasn't the only one affected by the sensual rhythm of the tango.

She'd been challenging him with her eyes, even heckled him a little bit as he'd moved her around the floor, demanding that he test the limits of her movement.

And so he had. With great energy and feeling as he channeled all his frustration and passion into that one dance.

By the time he'd stopped – with Chloe bent over his arm, his hand caressing her from collarbone to naval – he'd noticed a serious shift in her body language.

She was no longer fighting him for control she was breathless and pliant in his arms, her eyes soft and dreamy, her lips wet from her tongue. She'd gazed at him through hooded lids, so much longing evident in those gleaming depths that he'd bent his head, intent on laying claim to her lips.

But then, just as he was to make a serious move, she'd smirked, crushing his hopes and making him feel a hundred times the fool for dreaming for one second that she'd been affected in the same way he had.

So he did the only thing he could think of. Followed the path of his hand with his face, just as countless dancers had done in the past, inhaling her scent with his nose pressed between her breasts.

And that's when he smelled her arousal. The heady scent of her musk sending his senses into such an overload he'd almost dropped her.

He hadn't, but it was he who smirked as he straightened, relishing the shakiness of her legs as she stood and thanked him for the dance.

That was their last lesson, but he always managed to engineer a dance out of her every couple of months. And he always pushed the limits of her movement, knowing exactly what worked to turn her on, filing away each revelation with the obsessive care only he was capable of.

Taking another deep breath, Lex opened his eyes, peering around and licking his lips as he slowly made his way further into the apartment. Everything was silent, but there was light spilling out from the living room, a muted glow like that from several televisions.

Lex paused in the hallway, not sure if he should turn and leave before being caught or if he should continue onward and find out what was going on with his friend.

He was slightly concerned that she wouldn't be alone, but knowing Chloe the way he did, he didn't think that was possible. He'd have known if she'd been dating someone and she wasn't the type to pick up a random guy for a quick fuck. And she certainly wouldn't bring a random fuck back to her place.

But that only left one other explanation for the musky scent in the air.

Lex's body tightened even more at the thought.

He stepped closer, walking slowly, listening for any sign that Chloe was actually in the next room. He didn't hear anything at first, but the scent quickly became stronger, the addicting musk of her arousal wrapping around him and luring him closer.

Then he heard it – a broken gasp of frustration.

Lex closed the distance quickly, his eyes scanning the room as it came into view.

There was a television on. Actually there were four. All flat screen monstrosities flashing with various levels of lewdness.

There was a man sprawled on his back, only visible from the hips down, the camera focused on his cock sliding in and out of glistening pussy. The woman rode him fast and hard, obviously adept at the reverse cowgirl as her movements seemed to increase with every downward push.

There was a woman on her hands and knees, another attractive woman railing away at her with a large strap-on. What appeared to be a multi-tasking strap-on if the look of pleasure on the giver's face was any indication.

There was a woman taking it from two men at once. One man had his cock in her pussy and the other had his cock in her ass. And her head was thrown back in ecstasy as both men pumped inside her furiously.

There was an orgy on the fourth screen. Many different men and women giving and taking whatever pleasure they could from anyone or anything they could get it from. Cocks were being sucked, pussies eaten. Any orifice available was filled with something; edible or otherwise.

And all Lex could do was stare. Mouth open, eyes wide, heart pounding in his chest.

"Lex…"

The sound of his name being moaned throatily snapped him out of it. He turned toward the other side of the room, immediately gulping as his eyes fell on Chloe.

She'd obviously been here for a while. The room was cluttered with toys. Vibes, dildos and plugs of various sizes and textures littered the floor around her.

She was sprawled before him, her face blazing with heat, her body gleaming with sweat.

She had her hands at her center, an average size vibrator in her depths, her free hand working her clit in fast circles. Her inner thighs were coated with the wet evidence of her arousal, her nipples erect, her eyes wild with need.

Shaking his head to clear his brain, Lex cleared his throat, moving closer to her until he stood directly in front of her. He kept his eyes focused on her face, ignoring his urge to watch her pleasure herself.

Because she really didn't seem to be having a good time. She looked frantic and frustrated, almost pained in her need for orgasm.

"Chloe," Lex asked huskily. "What's going on?"

She met his gaze, the desperation in her eyes starting to shred the threads of his restraint.

It was her words that did him in.

"Please, Lex," she whimpered, her hips thrashing, her hands working desperately as she chased her release. "Help me."


	2. Chapter 2: The end of the beginning

**Chapter Two -- The end of the beginning.**

Lex blinked, not sure exactly what kind of help she wanted, other than the obvious, of course, but unable to control his reaction to her plea. He'd denied his primal need for her for too long and found it impossible to deny her what she was so blatantly asking for.

So Lex dropped to his knees in front of her, reached out and placed a hand over hers, effectively stilling the frantic motion of her fingers on her clit and on the toy still inside her.

She whimpered, frowning as he gently moved her hands from her angry flesh, pulling a harsh breath through her nose as she slowly raised her hands over her head, giving him silent permission to tend to her as he deemed fit.

He breathed a silent sigh of relief, inappropriately pleased by how easily she trusted him with something so intimate. He'd always wondered how she'd handle this kind of shift in their relationship, and he was relieved that she wasn't be shy or fearful, that she trusted him enough to let him lead her. Even if the circumstances were anything but ordinary.

She panted heavily, the tendons in her neck taut as she watched him, her gaze following the path of his hand as he slowly pulled the vibrator from her wet heat. She groaned in frustration, her legs closing as he set the vibrator aside, a series of whimpers following the stiff movements of her limbs.

Lex moved beside her, running his hands over her legs, massaging her toned thigh muscles before stroking a path over her hips. He paused at her waist, feathering along her stomach before moving higher.

She shivered, gasping delicately as his hands cupped her breasts and he rubbed the sensitive peaks with the palm of his hands. She arched her back, pushing her full breasts harder against his hands, a sigh of relief falling from her lips as he tightened his hold and his fingers tweaked her nipples.

He continued to run his hands all over her upper body, hoping his whispering touch would work to calm her. He wanted her, almost as desperately as she seemed to want an orgasm, but he wanted her coherent enough to know who was fucking her. He wasn't detached enough to be selflessly selfish and his inner agenda refused to be muted.

In the end, he always wanted it all.

He kept his gaze fixed on her face, shushing her, whispering reassurance when he thought she might balk. She looked tired, exhaustion evident beneath her frustration. He had no idea how long this had been going on, but it was obvious, from her surroundings as well as her appearance, that it had gone on for far too long.

He had no idea what was happening to her. Had no idea what events led her to the devastating need he saw gleaming in her eyes.

But he knew he had to help her. One way or another.

Cursing silently Lex leaned closer to her, cupping her face in his hands and brushing his lips against her jaw before pulling back, whispering, "Chloe."

Her jaw tensed, her lips pressed together so tightly they looked white. Her nose scrunched as he repeated her name, his hands tightening on her face slightly to get her attention.

"Chloe, look at me."

Her eyes flew open with a distinct grunt of annoyance, anger and hunger burning from her gaze as she watched him questioningly.

"What is it?" he asked, his hands loosening some as she began to relax. "What do you feel?"

Her brow furrowed, her face twisting again as she replied, "Pulsing. Everywhere."

Lex frowned, his confusion growing with every squirm of her heated body. Nothing about this situation felt right, everything seemed tilted, off balance, so out of control he felt the distinct haze of sickness push through his thrumming desire.

He glanced at the TV screens before him, glancing briefly at the doorway before peering at her once more. Her eyes widened significantly as she adjusted her body towards him and Lex jerked as he suddenly felt her hands clutching at him.

She must have read his mind, must have known he was considering flight because she gripped him with more strength than he thought she possessed, using the brief window of surprise to pull him down on top of her and wrap her legs around him. She hooked her ankles at the top of his ass, squeezing her thighs and keeping his lower body in place as he used his arms to push his weight off of her chest.

He felt surrounded, engulfed in her heat. His desire deepened with the insistent press of her thighs around his hips. He inhaled slowly through his nose, willing his body under control. Knew he was fighting a losing battle.

She pulled at his shirt, pushing his suit jacket off his shoulders as she yanked his shirt out of his pants. She was breathing hard, raising herself off the floor to lick at his neck, her teeth biting the sensitive flesh over his pulse as she continued to work on his clothing.

Lex groaned as he felt her soft, warm hands on his skin, her nails scraping as she tried to force his shirt out of the way. His body was telling him to give her what she wanted, to strip his clothes off and fuck her until she couldn't walk.

But his heart screamed at him to stop.

She tightened her legs around his hips, rubbing her wet pussy against the fabric of his pants, and he could feel the forming wet spot being left on the expensive, dark material. She was gazing up at him pleadingly, licking her lips, her hands everywhere and no where at once.

"Help me, Lex," she pleaded wantonly, raising her face to breathe up until she was breathing into his ear. "Please. I need you."

Lex turned his face towards her, nuzzling the side of her face, relishing the sweet warmth of her nearness. He pressed a series of soft kisses along her cheek, working his way slowly to her mouth. Pressed his lips gently against hers. Breathed her in, the taste of her exploding on his tongue as he sipped delicately.

Thought he'd surely die from the sheer pleasure of her contented sigh.

But all signs of gentleness ended there.

And she attacked him. Her lips, teeth and tongue pillaging, taking. The sudden unadulterated pleasure of her voracious assault sending him reeling.

He tried to pull back, halfhearted as it was, but then his brain started to shut down, his body instinctively leaning into her, his weight pushing her back onto the floor as he braced himself on one arm, freeing the other to hold her head steady. He threaded his fingers in her mussed, damp hair, opening his mouth and unleashing his passion in a heated kiss.

Chloe didn't back away, continued to push against him, moaning and gasping into his mouth. Her hands were clutching at him, still trying to free him of his shirt, her fingers dancing along his stomach and trying to dip into waistband of his pants. She was completely gone, all semblance of patience forgotten as she practically howled beneath him.

Lex had wanted her for ages. Physically and emotionally. Had put so much time and effort into pushing his feelings aside, suddenly having such an aggressive outlet was almost too much. He felt as if he were falling, drowning, suffocating from the absoluteness of the situation.

He tore his mouth from hers, licking and nipping a wet trail down her neck to her collarbone, kissing along her chest to take one stiff nipple into his mouth. He sucked hard, fluttering his tongue and biting down gently before switching to her other breast.

She was squirming against him, using her legs as leverage to rub her hot center on his throbbing cock, meeting the insistent push of his hips against her core. Her touch was desperate and insistent. Her voice raspy as she muttered, "Please, Lex. Help me. Please, please."

He lifted his head from her breasts, angling his head back until she met his gaze. She was panting and sweating, just as he was. Her eyes heavy-lidded and dark with blatant desire.

He wanted to bury himself in her, to pull her in and never let her go.

"Chloe," he managed through gritted teeth, using every ounce of control he'd ever had to stop himself from just taking her. "You have to tell me what's happening. For me to help you, I have to know."

She nodded jerkily, her hands moving under his shirt to rest on his shoulders, squeezing until her nails bit into his flesh painfully. "I'll tell you," she said brokenly, licking her lips and bucking her hips up insistently, rubbing her heat against the prominent bulge in his pants. "I'll tell you later. After…pulsing...stops…"

Her voice faded away, her broken words becoming incoherent mutterings as her head fell back in surrender.

Lex wanted to insist. He wanted to stop the movement of his hips, to pull back and demand she tell him what she meant by the pulsing.

But he didn't. The wild look in her eyes was too much for him to ignore and soon he felt the familiar pulse of his own body taking control of his mind.

He pulled back, the jerky movement dislodging her feet and allowing him to kneel freely between her parted legs. He quickly rid himself of his jacket and shirt, relieved she was lucid enough to take care of his belt and open pants, his eyes practically rolling up into his head as she took his cock in her hands.

He closed his eyes, pushing his pants down and kicking his shoes and clothing out of his way. He paused, letting himself savor the feel of her talented hands on his hard flesh, logging the memory in case this would be his only chance. He groaned, common sense flashing amidst pleasure, muttered, "Chloe. Condom?"

One of her hands tightened exquisitely, the other moving lower to cup his balls. She met his gaze, her eyes seemingly clearer, though still burning with desire. "No," she gasped. "Just you."

Lex felt his heart pound painfully in his chest, her words being the gauntlet that finally broke him.

He reared up, pushing her hands away as he spread his legs wider and grasped her by her hips. He aligned his cock with her entrance, watching her face as he quickly sheathed his substance in the tight, wet clasp of her body.

She felt – perfect.

Her face twisted immediately, unadulterated pleasure evident as he withdrew and then filled her again. She gasped, moaned, her hands seeking purchase on his thighs as she writhed beneath him. She pulled him closer, spreading her legs wider, using her feet and shoulders to raise her ass higher.

Lex growled deep in his chest, the vibrations seeming to echo in the thick heat of the room. His heart pounded in his chest, his lungs burning as he pulled in a raspy breath of air. He tightened his grip on her rocking hips, trying to slow her movements as he thrust in and out of her steadily.

She was out of control, her entire body radiating with contained tension. The muscles in her stomach quivered, the tendons in her neck and shoulders strained unbearably. Her feet were now resting on his calves, using the variation in height to open her legs wider, her hips thrashing, the clinging heat of her channel like a vice around his cock.

Lex's breath caught in his throat. She looked pained, like she was more likely to have a heart attack than an orgasm. Something wasn't right. He had to do more.

So he stopped, trying desperately to keep hold of her hips. Said, "Chloe."

She shouted in frustration, doubling her efforts, using her legs and arms to ride him, hard and fast. She was slamming into him, her slick heat taking him in with a resounding slap. Her eyes squeezed shut in concentration, her mouth hanging open, panting with need.

Lex released her hips, putting his arms up under her legs and flattening his palms on the floor on either side of her. Eased his body on top of hers until she was almost folded her in half, her feet dangling in the air above her.

The hard press of his hips stopped her erratic movement, until all she could so was writhe, her hips bucking ineffectively. He put more of his weight on her, groaning softly as he sunk into her further, his cock now buried to the hilt in her twitching channel.

"Chloe," he rasped, feeling the tension building in his body as she continued to squirm, her inner muscles gripping his cock tightly. "You have to relax. Don't force it."

She made a guttural sound of agitation, her nails viciously digging into his thigh muscles. She took a deep breath, then another. Kept her eyes focused on his face, until finally her grip on his legs eased and her head fell back to rest on the floor, her breathing evening out minutely.

"That's it," Lex murmured, keeping his gaze locked with hers. "That's it, baby. Just let it happen."

He pulled his pelvis back as far as the position allowed, closing his eyes then pushing forward and down, chafing her clit as he lost himself on her body. He started a slow rhythm, making sure to thrust against the swollen nub of her desire with every inward stroke.

She was moaning and rocking her hips beneath him, but otherwise she stayed relaxed, working with him instead of against him. She stroked her hands down his thighs, bringing her hands up to clutch at his neck, her nails scratching faintly. She raised her head, pulling his head down and claiming his lips, her tongue tracing his lips lazily, teasingly.

He groaned loudly as he opened for her, tangling his tongue with hers, feeling his control slip a notch as she moaned into his mouth, her hips bucking invitingly. He sped up the pumping of his hips, pushing into her harder while sucking her tongue into his mouth.

She was starting to tense up again, her legs pushing against him as her body built up towards release. She was gasping and whimpering into his mouth, her teeth biting his lower lip as she choked on her pleasure. Her hands gripped him tighter, pulling him closer, silently urging him to give her what she craved.

He pulled back, easing some of his weight off of her. He stared down at her face, twisted and flushed with effort and desire. Thought he'd lose himself in her eyes as she continued to stare up at him. Felt his control disintegrate as his name left her lips on a throaty moan.

He straightened his arms. Began thrusting into her with renewed vigor, the throbbing in his cock and balls increasing with every thrust into her body. He adjusted his position again, pulling off of her some more, making way for her hands. "Chloe," he muttered roughly, barely able to stop himself from pounding into her. "Touch yourself."

Her hands moved from his neck without hesitation, stroking down his chest to the place where they were joined. She rubbed the sensitive folds of her flesh, moving one hand lower and squeezing his cock, deepening the already distinct pressure in his groin.

Lex's vision blurred, his arms shaking as the shooting pleasure radiated from his cock directly to his balls. He growled again, felt the tension increasing as she used her free hand to rub tight, fast circles on her clit.

He increased the speed of his thrusts, changing the lever of his thrusts until he saw the visceral flair in her gaze. Knew he was connecting with what she needed.

Finally let himself go. Gave her exactly what she'd been silently begging for. Hard, fast and deep.

She came on his fourth inward thrust, her free hand now clawing at his hip as she screamed her release. She pumped her hips with his thrusting, rubbing her clit as she drew out the tremors of her climax, whimpering, moaning.

Lex could've watched her forever.

But he quickly succumbed to the thrall of desire. He shouted mutely as he released himself inside her, his hips still moving as she continued to thrash. The hot pull of his seed. The friction of his cock inside her spasming channel. Her fingers still rubbing her clit. Everything coalescing, pushing her over the edge again.

Finally she quieted and it was pure will that kept Lex from collapsing on top of her. His arms were shaking from exhaustion; his knees ached from the hardwood floor. He was panting heavily, ignoring the juvenile urge to crow in triumph as he gazed down at her, sated and dreamy beneath him.

She was smiling faintly, her eyes closed, her arms lax at her sides.

Not wanting to disturb her too much, he gently extricated himself from her body, moving to the side and laying down beside her. He pulled her closer to him, putting his arm under her neck and watching her in quiet contentment.

He wanted to stay like that forever. To hold her close to him and never let her go. 

But he knew the end was near. Felt the tension creeping back into her body as awareness set in.

She sighed, opening her eyes and meeting his gaze, the soft fulfillment quickly shifting to something else. Something panicked and pained. Poignant. Untouchable.

And he felt like what little strength he had left was ripped from him at that very moment.

By the look of misery in her eyes.

She pulled away from him, sitting up and scrambling to her feet. She looked around, the wild look in her eyes no longer tempered by desire. She wrapped her arms around her front, hugging herself, her lower lip trembling as she met Lex's gaze again.

He'd stood up as soon as she had. Not sure what was going to happen now, but not wanting to hash out anything in the nude. He'd just bent to retrieve his clothing when he heard her voice behind him, upset and shaky.

He looked up, felt his own features twist at the look of distress she was shooting at him. Managed to pick his clothes up anyway. Held them in front of him like a shield.

"Oh God, Lex," she whispered brokenly, her eyes tearing up as she watched him. "I'm so sorry. So, so sorry."

Lex, clothes in hand, froze. Frowned in confusion. "Sorry for what, Chloe?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. She took a deep, shuddering breath. Tried again. "For ruining everything."

Lex took a step toward her, shaking his head and reaching his hand out reassuringly. "No, Chloe…"

He didn't get a chance to finish.

She was shaking her head, backing away. Running. From him.

She put her hands over her face, ineffectively trying to hide the devastation that marred her features as she whirled around.

Lurched across the room. Quickly disappeared into the bathroom. Slammed the door with a resounding, final thud.

Left him standing there - still holding his clothing against his chest.

Staring numbly at the closed door.

Completely – utterly – shattered.

TBC


	3. Interlude I

**Interlude I **

It was the bile in her throat. That was what made her run.

She'd already made a big enough mess of things. She didn't want to add vomiting on him to her list of recent wrongdoings. She was sure he'd at least be grateful for that.

Or not.

Then again, it would've been a fitting conclusion to one of her top ten – no make that five – top five most humiliating moments ever.

After a few heart-stopping moments she allows herself to get off the floor, guiltily grateful that she won't be praying to any porcelain God on this day. Instead she sits down, relieving herself as she contemplates her choices.

She knows she hurt Lex by running. Knows he must be confused and angry. Knows he has every right to feel that way.

Hates herself even more for doing that to him. On top of everything else she's done.

Her secrets and lies.

Chloe sighs, making use of the toilet paper then standing up and making her way to the sink. She washes her hands, gasping as she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

She looks like death. Recently fucked death – slightly warmed over – but death, nonetheless.

Huffing at her reflection she walks to the door, pulling her robe off the hook and wrapping it around herself. She'll take a bath after dealing with whatever remains in her living room. Best to get it over with now.

She reaches her hand out, gripping the knob. Rests her hand there as she leans her forehead on the door. Takes several deep breaths.

Stalls some more. Cowardly, yes, but in some circumstance perfectly reasonable.

She just doesn't believe she has the strength to face him. Not yet. Not here. Not with the evidence of her transgression still flashing on the screen, still littering the floor. Still oozing between her legs.

It isn't the embarrassment that bothers her. She's been embarrassed on many occasions. She's squirmed through all sorts of uncomfortable situations. Never had a real problem with humiliating herself because she's so used to dealing with it.

Hell, she humiliates herself on a semi-regular basis. A big mouth and a meddlesome nature had cemented that ages ago. She could handle practically anything.

But this was different. This wasn't just embarrassment. This was Lex.

_Lex._

She feels sick to her stomach thinking about how she'd treated him. Ashamed. Disgusted.

Asking him – no, begging him – to fuck her. Then turning coward and running away without so much as a word of thanks or the promised explanation.

It was shameful. Bile or not.

She can't see how he'll ever forgive her. Not with how badly he reacts to rejection. Especially from those he cares about.

And she knows he cares about her.

He took time out of his busy schedule to check up on her and this is how she repays him. By fucking his brains out and then ditching him. In her porn littered living room.

Sure, some guys would consider this scenario a dream come true. But not Lex. At least not with her.

She was different. It had taken some time to get used to the idea, but she was sure of it.

Lex cared for her like no other. And vice versa.

Through many years of friendship, nothing had ever happened to make her consider Lex as anything more than her best friend. She'd never considered a romantic relationship with him. The thought had never even crossed her mind.

That is, until Lex took tango lessons with her.

Until she'd felt the prominent bulge in the front of his pants. Felt the answering tug in her core. Had to fight down the urge to attack him on the spot.

The sudden revelation had been so simple, so utterly convenient. She'd had a difficult time hiding her giddiness. Had only allowed herself the tiniest of smirks.

A smirk that had quickly disappeared when he'd burrowed his face in her cleavage and inhaled her musky scent.

She'd walked away on shaky legs. Made her way home in a daze, all the while going over the dance in her head. Over and over again. Came twice without even really trying.

She'd decided then that she'd slowly work up the courage to confront Lex about her current predicament.

She just hadn't found a good opportunity since then to mention it to him.

Cowardice had nothing to do with it. Really.

_Denial thy name is Chloe._

She scowls at herself, mentally berating her inability to take control of her actions and the corresponding therapy needed to correct her compulsive tendencies.

She trusts Lex. She knows he's exactly what she needs to get better. Knows he can provide the kind of help she needs to heal properly.

But knowing and doing something about it are two very different things.

Part of her knows he'd help her without a second thought. But there's always the lingering doubt. Doubt that he'll take her problems seriously. That he'd be willing to become part of the problem in order to help her.

So she hadn't mentioned it yet. She just hadn't gotten the courage to put herself out there in such an intimate way. To reveal her deep, dark secrets to anyone, not even Lex.

Someone she cared about to the point of obsession.

Because if she lost him in the process, it would've all been for nothing, and she never thought the risk to be worth the possible payout.

But now she's well and royally screwed. She has no choice but to confess. To tell him everything.

He deserves that much.

She takes a deep breath, swinging the door open before she can talk herself out of it again. She walks out into the living room, speaking before she can chicken out, "Lex, I'm so-"

The room is empty.

She makes her way through her living room, scowling at the debauched disarray of her normally pristine living space. She stops near the entryway, feeling every bit the fool as he heart drops, crashing into her stomach, sending her innards reeling.

He's gone.

Chloe whines in her throat, the noise sounding almost foreign to her ears. She leans against the wall in the hallway, rubbing her hands over her face as she pushes back the flood of tears burning behind her eyes.

Of course, he left. It's not like he'd just hang out and watch porn until she came to her senses. He had to have some pride.

But he could've at least given her a chance. He could've at least stuck around to make sure she was alright. He could've at least had the decency to confirm that she was not passed out on her bathroom floor. Hypothermia is a very serious thing, damn it!

Asshole.

Chloe hmphs as she makes her way back into the living room. She turns off all the televisions, powering down the DVD players and breathing a sigh of relief as the sickening glow dissipates.

She picks up all the toys, carrying them into the bathroom and dropping them in the sink. As she washes the toys she watches herself in the mirror. Watches the angry scowl slowly shift to wounded distress. Then ashamed guilt.

She's such a bitch. A heartless, selfish, stupid bitch.

Chloe's reflection begins to sob, her face crumpling as her eyes overflow with grief. She raises her hands to her face, painting an intermixing pattern of soap and tears as her sanctity fractures. Debauchment gone, completely swathed by the childlike quivering of her lips.

She feels as if her heart is cracking in her chest, splitting open, spilling over with the unforgiving filth of her deceitful mind.

She glares at her sniveling reflection, unreasonably annoyed by the unwanted show of emotion. Orders her to stop. Instructs her to quit her crying and finish the job at hand.

After a few deep breaths she gathers herself in. She's able to finish with the toys, drying each one individually and placing them on the counter. She picks them up, cradling them in her arms as she walks out of the bathroom, making her way across the living room to the large sofa.

She drops the toys on the middle cushion, stooping down and pulling a long flat box from beneath the heavy piece of furniture. She puts in the combination, snorting as the lock clicks and she's able to open the lid.

Her secret arsenal. Under lock and key.

Cursing softly she dumps the recently used toys on top of the rest, her heart sinking as she stares at the proof of her affliction. A colorful array of shapes and sizes. All readily available for her intimate pleasure.

Or in some cases, her unending frustration.

It doesn't happen very often, but occasionally she gets in a mindset where she's unable to put an end to her torment. The pulsing just goes on and on and no matter what she does, nothing works to ease her suffering.

That's what had happened this time. She'd let herself go too long, let herself get lost in the eroticism, the sensation. The irrepressibleness of complete depravity.

And she hadn't been capable of getting herself out.

Lex's arrival had changed that. She'd known he'd be able to help. He'd be able to make it right. She'd known that he held the spark that would finally put n end to the insistent pulsing.

And it was that knowledge that made her beg. That made her promise to tell him.

That finally forced her hand.

She sniffles, taking a cleansing breath as she stands up and walks to her desk, eyeing the phone determinedly.

She picks up the phone. Dials a number she's dialed a million times. Bows her head as his home voicemail picks up, a little ashamed that she intentionally called the number she knew he wouldn't be at. 

She's just not ready to hear his voice. She'd surely crack under the pressure.

"Uh…hi…it's me…Chloe," she stammers, pausing and taking a deep breath. She clears her throat, continues, "Um…if nothing else, I'm still good for my word. Meet me tomorrow. 111th and 53rd street. Six o'clock tomorrow. You'll get your explanation there."

She hangs up, not bothering to explain further. She knows he'll be there. Knows he has no choice.

Knowledge is power.

Even to one as powerful as Lex Luthor.

TBC


	4. Chapter 3: Uncertain progression

**Chapter Three – Uncertain progression **

Confusion is never a good feeling.

It's not challenging or interesting. It's not heartfelt or artificial.

It's annoying. And not something Lex Luthor is used to tolerating.

Confusion is expected at some points in anyone's life. From birth to adulthood uncertainty plays a large part in every person's existence. It's unavoidable. Inevitable.

But a man of his age and stature should never, ever be paralyzed by something as trite as confusion.

It just wasn't natural.

Or at least that's what Lex kept telling himself.

In all actuality, he'd never been this confused in his life. Not even close.

The way Chloe had reacted to their little – tryst – was strange and worrisome and Lex really had no idea how to handle it. He couldn't figure out an easy solution to something so enormously ambiguous. Not without a significant amount of fact to back it up.

When she'd first slammed the door on him he'd been crushed. He'd felt as if she'd ripped his heart out of chest and slammed it in the door. Irrevocably splitting it in two.

But after a minute or so of blindly staring at the closed door, his mood had started to shift. Sadness. Annoyance. Guilt. All these emotions pulsed through him and as he dressed he'd had a difficult time deciding on the best course of action.

He'd thought about banging on the door. Thought about breaking the fucking door down. Thought about just sitting on the sofa and waiting for her to come out.

Had briefly thought himself to boneless enough to ooze beneath the door. Perhaps through the keyhole.

Instead decided his emotions were too scattered to have any type of coherent conversation with her. Not when she was so obviously screwed up. Not when he was so obviously broken. Perhaps even devastated.

He was afraid that no matter what his decision, he'd only end up making it worse.

So he'd left her apartment without any answers. Without even a glimmer of hope that the uncertain progression of their relationship would withstand such obvious injury. From both of them.

After he left Chloe's apartment he made his way up the sidewalk, ignoring the waiting car and setting out on foot. Was somewhat grateful that he'd opted for a driver, since he wouldn't have to backtrack for his car later on. Thus avoiding an awkward confrontation before he was really prepared.

He walked for what seemed like hours, unaware of any real destination until he found himself in front of a familiar club. It was closed. Too early to be open.

But he wanted it to be open. Needed it open.

Lex took out his phone, dialing the familiar number. Someone picked up immediately and he stated his request in a voice he barely recognized. Then ended the call.

Shortly he heard a voice behind him, "Mr. Luthor, please come in."

Lex smirked coolly, finding some relief in arrogance, the slight feeling of power tempering the agony churning in his gut. He walked into the club, the cool, dark interior working to calm him, the familiar milieu a nostalgic pull on his senses.

This was their place. Where they lost themselves in the throbbing, sultry rhythm of the music. Where boundaries were inconsequential and he could touch her as he always wanted to. Gently. Erotically. With love.

He was led to his normal table, a scotch already poured. Lex couldn't help but notice how lonely it looked without Chloe's frilly girly drink next to it. Grimaced again at how sappy and childish the thought was.

He picked up his drink. Threw it back in one shot then set the glass back down. Knew it would be refilled as if by magic. Without him even noticing.

The band wasn't ready yet, probably wasn't due for several hours. So the normal vivacity of the club was muted, the quiet music being that of a recording piped through a speaker.

Lex sighed heavily, scowling to hide the misery edging his features.

He closed his eyes.

Listened to the insistent beat of the music.

Gave in to the lush temptation of a memory.

_She's looking at him strangely. Her eyes sparkling with amusement, the corners of her mouth curving with silent laughter._

"What's so funny?" he asks quietly.

She giggles softly, covering her mouth with her hand as she shakes her head at him.

He quirks a brow at her questioningly, states, "You're unreasonably amused for someone who's not amused."

"It's nothing," she replies breathlessly, blatant pleasure evident on her face. "I was just wondering something."

He peers at her skeptically. Knows she's up to something. Takes the bait anyway. "And what would that be?"

She smiles at him, the full-wattage almost knocking him out of his chair.

"I was just wondering when you're going to give up the pretense of behaving and put your delectable hands on me?" she teases, her voice a veritable caress from across the table.

Lex's heart practically stops. Then quickly jumps to life in his chest. Pounding with renewed vigor at the mental image her words bring to mind.

He's sure he must've heard her incorrectly. Can't believe she'd just blurt something like that out. Certainly not without even getting to the second round.

"Lex!" the sound of his name on her lips startles him. She's looking at him worriedly, amusement now gone. "Are you alright?"

He stops himself from stuttering, managing to level an arrogant look at her before replying, "Of course, why wouldn't I be alright?"

She squints at him suspiciously, and too late he realizes his error. His unconscious challenge. Wants to intercept her shot, swallow her retort before it hits his ears.

Glaring at her accusingly, he stands up, perhaps too quickly. He reaches out, taking her hand and practically dragging her to her feet. She lands against his chest with such force he feels her gasp on his neck.

Tamps down the tremor of awareness that threatens to spiral out of control.

She's looking up at him, a soft speaking look in her eyes as she watches him watching her. She opens her mouth to speak but he interrupts her, his voice raspy yet firm. "Shut up, Chloe."

She makes an indignant sound in her throat, her scowl causing him to chuckle deep in his chest. He doesn't give her time to retaliate, just assumes his stance and leads her out on the dance floor, his body pushing her backward even as he's pulling her closer.

He wants to tell her. Wants to speak the words that have been choking him for longer than he can remember. Wants her to know exactly what kind of pretense he'd like to shatter.

Chooses to remain quiet.

Decides to funnel all his emotion into the only safe means he has.

The sweet, tangible pulse of the tango.

Eventually he left the club. Made his was outside and into the waiting limo. 

He rode in total silence, not bothering with the radio or the television. Coudln't bear the thought of noise that doesn't originate from her.

He kept looking at his cell phone. Disappointed when there were no missed calls and no messages to listen to. He thought she'd at least have the decency to call him. Thought she cared enough about him to want to explain herself and clear the air between them.

Bitch.

Lex hmphed as he exited the care and entered the building, striding through the lobby determinedly. He stopped in front of the elevator and hit the call button. Watched the numbers blink at him as he waits for the lift. Another notch in a series of countdowns. Ticking testimony of his persistently uncertain progression.

He entered the elevator, turning to face the doors sliding closed before him, revealing his reflection. As the elevator lifted him upward he watches his other self in the mirror. Watched the strained grimace slowly shift to wounded distress. Then ashamed guilt.

He's such an asshole. A heartless, selfish, stupid asshole.

Lex's reflection grunted painfully, his face twisting with repressed grief. He raised his hands to his face, painting an intermixing pattern of worry and pain as his sanctity fractures. Contentment gone, completely swathed by the childlike shadows of the past.

He felt as if his heart was cracking in his chest, splitting open, spilling over with the unforgiving filth of his deceitful mind.

He glared at his pained reflection, unreasonably annoyed by the unwanted show of emotion. Ordered him to stop. Instructed him to quit the self-deprecation and finish the job at hand.

He took a few deep breaths and gathered himself in. Managed to take the necessary steps out of the elevator and into his penthouse. Walked blindly through his living space to the master bath.

Stripped off his clothes and stepped under the hot blast of water. Worked diligently to scrub away the scent of her. To wash away the feel of her. 

Failed to notice the insistent blinking light from across the room.

A beacon of hope lost in a tumultuous sea of uncertain progression.

TBC


	5. Chapter 4: Illumination

**Chapter Four – Illumination**

Lex was trying to enjoy his shower. Was trying to put aside all his negative thoughts by mentally picturing them swirling down the drain. A silly yet rather effective visual tool.

Might have even gotten to the point of believing such nonsense was possible.

Had it not been for the incessant beeping.

Lex leaned against the shower wall, resting his forehead on the smooth tile and closing his eyes. He took a deep breath, inhaling the humid air through his nose and expelling it slowly through his mouth. Felt the muscles in his neck and back gradually relax under the pounding heat of the water.

_Beep._

Lex closed his eyes tighter, pressing his hands against the tile harder, inhaled harshly through his mouth. The raspy, wet sound echoing in the confines of the shower.

He opened his eyes, focusing on the water as it spiraled down the drain. Felt himself begin to relax again as the water turned into anger, guilt and sadness.

_Beep._

Lex growled and pushed himself away from the shower wall. Not bothering to turn off the water as he exited the shower. He stepped out of the bathroom, stopping in the doorway to locate the maddening noise.

_Beep._

Water dripped off his body, pooling on the floor at his feet as he leveled his stony gaze on the device emitting the offensive sound.

His over-priced, beyond high-tech telephone.

Lex stalked across the room and picked up the telephone. Scowled at it menacingly, waiting for confirmation that it was indeed the offending target.

_Beep._

The phone beeped in his hand, the LCD illuminating as the noise faded.

A saving grace flashing before his eyes.

_1 New Message_

Lex blinked at the phone, slightly taken aback by what he'd almost done. He would've thrown it. Would've smashed it into a billion tiny pieces had the LDC not lit up.

Still wanted to smash it, but reined in the urge. Decided to see if the message was from Chloe. If not, he'd just smash it later.

Lex pressed the necessary buttons then put the phone to his ear. Huffed impatiently as he waited through all the prerecorded bullshit.

It was Chloe.

His gut clenched at the sound of her voice. Weak. Halted and slightly broken.

He frowned as he listened to her cryptic message, anger roiling inside him as he played the message again.

She expected him to meet her. Expected him to just follow her directions and meet her where she said when she said. Like a little puppy following it's master.

Lex growled, his hand squeezing the phone as his anger boiled up. He didn't want to do as she said. Didn't want to just accept her instructions without so much as an explanation as to what the hell was going on with her.

Wanted to call her back and demand she tell him. Wanted to go break down her door and force her to face him. Now. On his terms.

Instead threw the phone across the room, taking some satisfaction as the expensive device broke to pieces.

Made his way slowly to the bathroom knowing he'd do as she asked.

He always did.

_He pushes her out onto the dance floor, immediately placing his leg between hers, tensing his thigh muscle and reveling in the scorching heat of her groin. _

_She meets his gaze, she doesn't blink or flinch, just hooks a leg around his hip and rubs herself against him, bending easily to the side as he dips her. He pulls her up almost violently, nuzzling his nose along her cheek ever-so-briefly before quickly stepping back, spinning her away from him._

_It's a duel, their bodies turning, gyrating, each challenging the other with every step. _

_He knows she'll never back down, is glad of it. Takes any opportunity he can to touch her. Even knowing the physical ache he'll feel for hours afterward. _

_She's against him again, leading herself until she's suddenly sliding down his front, clutching his leg desperately. _

_Her head's directly on his groin, her cheek rubbing against the slight bulge in the front of his pants and she's staring up at him, her eyes wide with feigned innocence. Her lips curve wickedly, her hand sliding up his leg and clutching at the sensitive spot just below his ass. _

_He bends down slightly, grasps her by her arms and hauls her up until her chest is pressed so close to his he can feel the pulsing beat of her heart. _

_Her head falls back, her lips part slightly. She's pliant. Almost begging for it._

_He's almost sure she wants him. Wants his lips and mouth and hands all over her ripe body._

_It's written all over her face, her body. He can almost smell it in the air._

_But her eyes – her eyes are still laughing._

She was waiting for him exactly where she said she would be.

He watched her arrive from an inconspicuous location, wanting to observe her for a few minutes before having to actually face her. He wanted to gorge himself with the sight of her like the final salvation of an addicted man.

Lex hung his head in disgust. Briefly wished he'd never met her. The only one capable of making him this weak. This pathetic.

She'd spent the last five minutes pacing the sidewalk. Back and forth. Pause. Look around anxiously. Fidget. Repeat.

As the minutes ticked by he could see the lines of anxiety deepen on her face. The slight crease in her forehead, her furrowed brow and tense shoulders. At this point she looked as if she was going to snap from the pressure.

And Lex couldn't help but take some pleasure in her discomfort. A normal reaction after the hours and hours of agony he'd suffered because of her and her bleeding secrets. If she'd have just stayed and talked to him instead of running off and leaving him alone, none of this would've ever happened.

The same could be said for his running off, but that, of course, was different. She ran first and that's what mattered. So there.

Lex hmphed, tearing his eyes from her and waving for the waiter. He paid his bill. Stood up and made his way out of the building.

He was as late as was fashionable. Felt he'd made her suffer enough.

Couldn't stand not being close to her for one minute longer.

Lex walked across the road, keeping his eyes on her back as she paced away from him. He moved up on her quickly, wanting to get to her before she saw him. Wants the element of surprise on his side.

He reached her just as she turned and she collided with him, her hands coming up against his chest as he grasped her arms to steady her. He heard her sharp intake of breath, felt her shudder right before he released her arms. Met and held her gaze as he took a step away from her.

"Chloe."

Her brow furrowed even more as she blinked at him and Lex smirked inwardly, unreasonably pleased that he'd managed to catch her off guard. Wished he could do it again merely for the sake of feeling the rush of pleasure from her hands on his chest.

_One step forward, two steps back_. Lex frowned at the thought. Realized that with every powerful hand he was dealt, she'd always manage to strip him at least twice.

"Lex," her voice broke through his pondering. She was looking at him questioningly, a shadow of worry edging her features. "Are you okay?"

Lex cleared his throat, curling his lip as he replied curtly, "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

Lex briefly worried she'd be wounded by his brusquely nonchalant reply. Breathed a silent sigh of relief when she puffed up her chest and glared at him, certainly on her way to giving him a tongue lashing.

Lex stepped closer to her, taking her arm and propelling her towards the building in front of them. "Is this where we're supposed to be?"

Chloe hmphed under her breath, yanking her arm out of his grasp and stomping through the door he so kindly held open for her. Lex smirked at her back, enjoying her display of temper, happy her reactions seemed to be back to normal.

For now, anyway.

Lex followed Chloe down a long hallway, almost to the end. She stopped in front of a door marked S. Abbott and rang the bell. He noticed her hands were shaking. Wanted to reach out and steady her. Wanted her to lean on him, no matter what the cause.

Lex considered making small talk, but decided against it. He knew agitated Chloe well enough to understand idle chit chat was pointless. If things had been different, and they'd been in the privacy of one of their own homes, Lex would've done his best to provoke her. That just what they did. Kept each other on their toes.

A bolt clicked and the door opened. An older woman stood there, tall and obviously fit, dark hair weaved prettily with gray. A fond smile on her face.

A smile that quickly faded as her gaze focused on Lex.

Quirking an eyebrow the woman returned her focus to Chloe. She reached out and grasped Chloe's hand, pulling her into the room as she greeted her.

Then she eyed Lex expectantly, asked bluntly, "And what are you doing here?"

Lex opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by Chloe. Her voice had returned even if the shaking of her hands hadn't lessened. "Dr. Abbott, this is Lex Luthor."

The older woman's eyes widened, humor flashing as she glanced at Chloe. "Well I knew that much, my dear, I'm not blind," she replied humorously. "I meant what's he doing here?"

"Something's happened," Chloe answered, her voice quivering slightly. "I had to bring him. I didn't know how else to tell him."

Dr. Abbott's gaze softened, a gentle smile curving her lips as she put her arm around Chloe and steered her through the room. "Of course, Chloe, that's what these sessions are for. To help you deal with your illness in any and every way possible."

_Illness?_

Lex started at the word, his heart stalling in his chest as an image of Chloe flashed through his mind. Of her lying in a hospital bed, broken and dying.

Lex strode across the room, stopping in front of where they were sitting. They ignored him, didn't even glance in his direction as they continued to talk in hushed tones. He didn't try to listen, couldn't possibly hear them through the roaring in his ears.

'Excuse me," he gritted out through clenched teeth. "But what the hell is going on?"

Chloe started, her eyes flying up to his face. "Lex, I'm sorry."

She looked like she wanted to say more, but he cut her off, his voice getting more agitated with every word he spoke. "Stop it, Chloe. I don't really want to hear any apologies. I just want to know what's going on, so quit stalling and just tell me."

"It's not that simple." She replied quietly, her eyes watering slightly as she stared at him. "I've been dealing with this on my own for so long, it's difficult for me to just tell anyone about it. Even you."

Lex scowled down at her, asked in a voice he knew was almost pleading, "Are you dying?"

Chloe's eyes widened. The doctor hid the tiniest of smiles behind her hand.

Neither of them said anything.

He could feel the anxiety rising in his chest. Felt the uncontrollable urge to pick her up and carry her away. The compulsive need to save what he held dear.

Lex glared at both of them, fear bubbling up in his throat as he demanded, "Well? Are you or not?"

She stared up at him in shock. It was obvious she didn't know what to think. The look of astonished distress spoke volumes, but failed to actually answer his question.

"N-no, of course not…" Chloe finally managed to stutter, the look of bewilderment on her face becoming almost comical. "It's nothing li-"

"Then it doesn't matter," Lex interrupted, bending down and cupping her head in his hands. Threw caution to the wind and said, "As long as you're with me, nothing else matters."

Lex felt the heat rise in his face. Heard her soft gasp as she stared up at him. Had to force himself not to lean down further and cover her mouth with his. To show her exactly how much he needed her with him.

Probably would have if she hadn't opened her mouth before he made a move.

Said the words softly, almost sadly. "Lex, I'm a sex addict."


	6. Interlude II

**Interlude II – **

His eyes burn a hole into her head. They're bright and alive and full of all the feeling his words give away and that's the final push she needs. Opens her mouth before she loses her nerve, "Lex, I'm a sex addict."

Her voice sounds foreign, unfamiliar and achy to her ears. Shame washes over her, disgust and hope warring for control as she waits for his reaction, but still she wants to take them back. To choke them back down and never utter them again.

She hears his quick intake of breath. Watches his gaze shift away from her face. His hands loosen on her head then slowly drop away from her as he straightens.

Feels her heart crack in her chest.

His reaction is muted. Diluted by the reticent edges of his public persona. He's holding himself back. Refusing to let himself respond with natural instinct.

She wants to reach for him. To lash out at his silence. To pull him in and eat him whole.

But she remains quiet. Seconds tick by, minutes, what seems like an eternity in the span of a few pounding heartbeats. She watches him watching an unknown on the far wall.

And she worries. Will he stay. Or will he go.

Dr. Abbott is peering at both of them thoughtfully. Chloe can feel her eyes on her. She knows the doctor wants to say something. But she won't. Not yet. Not until the moment is right.

Lex swallows, his throat moving visibly. He's frowning slightly, his gaze rather unfocused as he continues to stare at something over her shoulder.

He opens his mouth as if he's about to say something, but quickly closes it, licking his lips and squinting his eyes in concentration. He's obviously thinking about it, going over her words in his head, trying to figure it out on his own. As if he'd know the beginning, the middle and the end without even asking.

She wishes she could read his thoughts. Wants to crawl inside his head and rearrange them to suit her. Actually visualizes doing so, covering an amused sound with a choking sort of cough.

Wonders where the meteor-freak capabilities are when you need them.

She feels herself getting antsy, impatience simmering slowly to the surface as he remains motionless. She's not sure how much more she can take. Her blood is pounding in her ears, each hard pulse pushing her closer and closer to the edge.

A familiar feeling. A feeling she immediately associates with Lex, though typically it's without the ominous ache of heartbreak lurking in the shadows.

He always makes her antsy and impatient. Makes her blood simmer in her veins.

Makes her pulse.

_She knows she's looking at him strangely. The slight curve of her lips is a natural reaction to her amusement. She doesn't want to show it, but she's helpless, a slave to her humor._

"_What's so funny?" he asks quietly, looking as polished and delectable as usual._

_A giggle slips out and she quickly covers her mouth with her hand and shakes her head at him. She doesn't want to tell him. Can't really. It being her own little secret, and all._

_He quirks a brow at her questioningly, states, "You're unreasonably amused for someone who's not amused."_

_He looks slightly annoyed now. His expressive eyes are boring into her, his hand tightening on his drink, the muscles in his neck tensing noticeably. He licks his lips and his nostrils flare._

_She imagines he can smell her arousal. Imagines he can see into her head and pluck out the secrets she's been keeping for ages. Almost wishes he would._

_She schools her features, attempting to put mild indifference ahead of her amusement. Knows it'll annoy him even further when she fails._

_And she does._

"_It's nothing," she replies breathlessly, blatant pleasure still evident on her face. "I was just wondering something."_

_Not an outright lie. She does wonder things all the time. She's curious by nature. _

_He's peering at her skeptically, the look on his face projecting his uncertainty even as he tries to cover it up. Eventually just gives in, asking calmly, "And what would that be?"_

_She smiles at him brilliantly, using every last ounce of wattage in order to put him even more off balance. She wants him unhinged and untamed. Wants him to take without her having to ask or give, thus releasing her of all culpability. _

"_I was just wondering when you're going to give up the pretense of behaving and put your delectable hands on me?" she teases huskily, knowing the affect her words will have on him._

_Lex's eyes widen and his lips part slightly, his nostrils flaring again as he processes her words. He fidgets, his fingers caressing the crystal of the tumbler in his hands. A telltale sign that he's officially off balance. _

"_Lex," she says amusedly. He remains quiet, unseeing, his fingers still caressing the tumbler almost erotically. "Lex!"_

_He starts, his gaze focusing once more on her face. She doesn't have to work at hiding her amusement any longer. It had faded as soon as he did. _

"_Are you alright?" she asks with genuine concern. She wanted to put him off balance, not knock him right on his arrogant ass. At least not yet._

_He levels an arrogant look at her, replying, "Of course, why wouldn't I be alright?"_

_Stupid bastard. Daring to give her that look. Daring to speak to her in that snobbishly condescending tone. _

_She squints at him suspiciously, unreasonably annoyed by a look she knows all too well. She ignores the intense urge to kick him. To slap him. To kiss that arrogant look right off his handsome face._

_Decides to retaliate later on. At just the right moment. When he least expects it and is incapable of doing anything about it. Blindsiding is fun when it comes to Lex._

_He glares at her accusingly, as if he knows what she's up to. He stands up, his movements a little too hurried to be considered smooth. He reaches out, takes her hand and practically drags her to her feet. She lands against his chest with such force she gasps against his neck. _

_Feels the repressed tremor of awareness that spirals through his body._

_Tamps down the answering tremor in her own. _

_She feels the blazing heat of his hand on the curve of lower back, almost resting on top of her ass. She shifts closer, enjoying the spicy, expensive smell permeating from his body. _

_She wonders if he tastes as he smells or if the heady scent would be overpowered by the real life delight that is Lex. _

_She looks up at him, trying to speak to him with her eyes as he watches her watching him. She opens her mouth to speak, wants him to have some clue as to what she's thinking but he interrupts her, his voice raspy yet firm. "Shut up, Chloe."_

_She makes an indignant sound in her throat and scowls at him, her annoyance increasing as he chuckles deep in his chest. He doesn't give her time to retaliate, just assumes his stance and leads her out on the dance floor, his body pushing her backward even as he's pulling her closer._

_She wants to tell him. Wants to speak the words that have been choking her for longer than she can remember. Wants him to know exactly what kind of pretense she'd like to shatter._

_Chooses to remain quiet. _

_Decides to funnel all her emotion into the only safe means she has. _

_The sweet, tangible pulse of the Tango._

"Chloe?"

She frowns, the sound of her name being repeated worriedly bringing her back to her senses. She'd been lost in a daydream, the sweet sanctity of the past.

_She needs to quit doing that._

Dr. Abbott is looking at her strangely, knowingly. "Welcome back, Chloe."

She's slightly disoriented and she rubs her hands over her face, leaning back against the cushions of the sofa. "What happened?" she asks.

"We lost you for a moment," Dr. Abbott replies calmly, obviously used to her drifting off. A longtime habit used in stressful situations.

Chloe looks at her questioningly, peering around the room a she responds, "We? There's no one else here."

She's not usually this disoriented. Figures the emotional turmoil must've been overbearing. Too stressful for her to simply endure as a normal person would.

Dr. Abbott sighs, "He excused himself for a moment."

Chloe blinks in bemusement, still not comprehending what had happened, "He?"

Dr. Abbott eyes her oddly, "Yes, he," she states slowly yet slightly impatiently. "Remember Lex? The guy you invited here?"

Chloe starts slightly, squeezing her eyes shut and grimacing as it all rushes back to her with surprising clarity. Wishes she could stay lost in a dream. Away from the reality of her issues.

She covers her face with her hands, groaning, "Oh God, why did I do that?"

Dr. Abbott snorts at her, grasping her wrists and pulling her hands from her face. Forces Chloe to look at her as she speaks, "Because it's time and you're finally ready to heal and move on with your life."

Chloe takes a shuddering breath, nods slowly. "You're right. It was my decision and a long overdue one at that. I can't hide behind my problems forever and I can't expect to keep people close to me when all I do is lie to them. Honesty. The first step. I can do that. I'm ready. Uh huh."

Dr. Abbott chuckles, asks, "Trying to convince yourself?"

"Yes," Chloe replies immediately, wishing she'd quit giving in to her insecurities. "I know telling him was the right thing to do, but I don't know how I'll handle his rejection."

"He won't reject you, Chloe."

Chloe gapes at her skeptically. "How do you know that?

"It's obvious, Chloe. The man adores you. It'd take more than a sex addiction to get him to reject you."

"Is that your professional opinion?"

Dr. Abbott raises a brow at her, sighing as she replies, "No, that's my opinion as an insightfully astute woman. I'm not blind and I have no problem accepting what's right in front of my face. Unlike you."

Chloe scowls at her, "And what's the supposed to mean?" she asks grumpily.

"You waste so much time worrying about how people will react to your problems you never even begin to give them the benefit of the doubt that they will accept you as you are. Blemishes and all. You just assume that everyone will abandon you in your time of need, as if the fact you're not as frigging perfect as you've been pretending to be actually would come as a big surprise. That's simply ridiculous. No one's perfect, not even you, so just accept it and move forward."

Chloe glares at her, even more annoyed that she chose a therapist who's actually her friend. She had to seek help from someone she loves and trusts, not some strange doctor who doesn't know what Chloe doesn't feel like telling her. Not a mere stranger who would base judgment on the simple facts and not the bleakness that lies beneath.

So she attacks. Just as she always does. Wants to stop it but is unable to control it.

"That's easy for you to say," Chloe snarls. "Your mother didn't abandon you when you were a child. In high school your best friend didn't ignore your womanly existence for years and then condemn you for moving on. Your father wasn't so busy trying to prove himself as a man he completely forgot about the needs of his daughter. Everything was perfect for you. You and your parents and your sweetheart and your picture-perfect childhood must make it easy for you to sit there and judge me. It's so easy when you've never had to deal with the personal consequences of being continuously abandoned by those you love."

Chloe quickly runs out of steam, immediately embarrassed by her outburst. The truth did that to her. Made her lash out and say things that were barely even coherent to herself never mind those she ranted at.

Dr. Abbott just looks at her patiently. Understands. Rests her hand on Chloe's arm reassuringly.

"I know all about the residual consequences of your abandonment, Chloe, but as I've stated many times in the past; you have to learn to move beyond your emotional handicap and let yourself grow. Otherwise you'll be permanently stunted by past events that can never be changed and that would be a serious waste of a lovingly passionate woman."

Chloe's eyes burn. A hot flame shoots up her sinuses, her eyes starting to water painfully.

"I know." Chloe's response is weak, almost childlike, and she rocks forward, hugging herself as she repeats, "I know. I know. I know."

She feels her face crumpling, takes a deep breath in the hopes of stopping the impending breakdown. Pants frantically as she feels her inner self crack. Bites her cheek in a final, desperate attempt to control her emotions.

Fails miserably as her tears overflow, ragged, loud sobs rolling through her uncontrollably. She accepts it, grabs hold. Lets the agony consume her.

And that's how Lex finds her.

Sobbing and broken on the sofa.

A veritable shadow of the woman he thinks he knows.


	7. Chapter 5: Reticent Reception

**Chapter Five – Reticent Reception **

Lex blinked. He'd heard the words. Watched her lips move as she spoke them. Wasn't sure how he was supposed to respond. Wasn't sure is he was capable of anything remotely coherent.

He took a quick breath and shifted his gaze away from her face. His hands loosened on her head, slowly dropped to his sides as he straightened.

Couldn't stand to look at her that closely. Not when he felt so conflicted, so utterly tilted.

Not when she was looking at him like that.

He had no idea what a normal reaction would be to that kind of statement. He didn't have a standard response filed away for this type of situation and his brain seemed to have failed him completely. So he just continued to stand there, silently staring at nothing.

And he worried. Would she stay? Or would she go?

He could feel Dr. Abbott's eyes on him. Knew she was just waiting for an opportune moment to say something. Was waiting for him to hand her that opening.

Thought that maybe that would be the best way to go about it. Let the professional jump in with her impartial opinion. Then he wouldn't have to feel so stupid about being at a loss for words.

Instead he swallowed painfully, his frown deepening as he continued to stare at the wall behind Chloe. At a picture that looked familiar, though it might not be so after a closer look. Analyzing it was just easier than thinking about something he knew nothing about.

He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, so he closed it, licked his lips and squinted as he concentrated on the picture. Her words kept going around in his head and he was having trouble grasping exactly what it all meant. Wondered what exactly she was trying to say, but was unable to just ask her.

Felt ridiculous to have something so strange make him lose all sense of good manners.

Finally opened his mouth again, managed to croak, "May I use your bathroom for a moment?"

Dr. Abbott nodded, pointing him in the right direction.

He wasn't running away. He was just taking a breather. A much-needed respite from the turmoil shadowing her features.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he shut the door. Leaned back on it and squeezed his eyes shut. Again tried to figure out what was going on. Tried to figure out how things had shifted from his all but outright declaring his feelings for her to her stating that she's a sex addict.

He knew that she hadn't intentionally ignored his declaration. Knew that she hadn't just brushed it aside. Knew he had no reason to believe she didn't feel the same way for him

Still had a hard time not feeling crushed that she hadn't at least acknowledged it.

Lex shook his head, clearing his mind of the negative thoughts. They were inconsequential at this point. Meaningless and useless. He had much more important things to worry about.

Namely Chloe.

He paced to the far end of the bathroom, rubbing his hands over his face as he tried to gather his thoughts. He wasn't sure what he should do next. He really wanted to leave, wanted more time to sort things out before confronting her, but he knew that would make thing worse. Was afraid doing so would cause irreparable damage to the relationship they'd worked so hard to maintain.

He was also very disappointed in himself for never noticing that Chloe wasn't alright. Not noticing something that obviously interfered with her life to the point she couldn't even function normally. How did he miss something like that?

Lex had never claimed to be an expert on anything, least of all sexual dysfunctions, but he had to believe he had some notion as to the workings of addiction. He was addicted to power. To being in control of his surroundings, inanimate objects as well as not. He knew exactly what it was like to be unable to stop the urge to dominate.

He'd also done his fair share of using people for sex. He couldn't begin to count the number of brunettes he'd callously fucked. Knew the sexual pattern of his younger years had the definitive reek of dysfunction, even if no one had ever officially labeled it as such.

He had to wonder if Chloe's addiction worked in the same way. If her weakness for sex was fueled by some underlying fear of being powerless. Wondered if her inability to control her carnal urges had ever gotten to the point she put herself in dangerous situations. Wondered what kinds of things her addiction had done to her. Which wounds had healed and which ones were continuously ripped open.

Lex stopped in his tracks, growling slightly under his breath as he thought about all the faceless men she might've fucked. The faceless men who used her addiction against her. The faceless men he'd like to hunt down like the dirty dogs they are and beat them into oblivion.

Dirty men, just like him.

Lex snorted at the thought, walking to the counter and resting his hands on the edge. He peered at himself intently, wishing he could rewind that last few months and start over. Wondered if he would've done anything different if he could.

He tried to think of distinctive moments where Chloe seemed off. Tried to come up with various scenarios when he should've noticed something was wrong. Went over every event he could dream up in the hopes something would stand out in his memory.

Couldn't make any sense out of anything in his jumbled mind. Decided the only way to figure things out would be to confront it. To go back to the source and ask for some answers.

And maybe even a little forgiveness.

Mind made up he quickly exited the bathroom, slowing his pace as he walked towards the couch. He caught sight of Chloe, still sitting where he'd left her. But now she seemed totally deflated, her head hanging in defeat, the slope of her shoulders shaking with obvious grief.

He increased his pace, glaring at Dr. Abbott as he hurriedly moved to stand in front of Chloe. "What the hell did you do to her?" he asked angrily.

The older woman didn't even blink, barely even glanced at him. Just quirked an eyebrow mockingly, said mildly, "Nothing that you can't fix, my dear."

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Dr. Abbott's gaze finally shifted from Chloe, her deep blue stare hard with obvious distress, "Did you ever think that maybe this has nothing to do with me or you? That maybe she's just tired and needs to get it out. That once in a while everything just becomes too much and she has no choice but to breakdown, to let her emotions take over in order to start again. She's not made of stone, you know. She's flesh and blood and she's hurting. But since she probably feels things a lot deeper than you, you probably couldn't even begin to comprehend exactly how it much it can hurt."

Lex flinched, felt as if the doctor had physically struck him with her words. Wanted to retaliate, but knew she was right. He'd spent his entire life ignoring his emotions simply to save face and live up to the persona he created. He rarely thought about how Chloe felt. Always assumed she was fine. That nothing bad would ever touch her as long as he was around.

And the realization that she'd been dealing with this all alone made him feel even worse. Wished he'd thought to ask more questions. To reassure her that she could always come to him. With absolutely anything.

Wanted desperately to fix it. To make it right.

Said, "You're right. I apologize."

Dr. Abbott sighed, shaking her head as she said, "No, I should apologize. You were just blindsided by something that you knew nothing about, and you've handled it far better than I would've thought. I have no right to lecture you and I certainly have no right to make assumptions on how deeply you may or may not feel. It was wrong and I'm sorry."

Lex just nodded, not sure what he could say to that. He glanced at Chloe, relieved that she seemed to be calming down, the shaking of her shoulders having slowed to random shudders.

He couldn't take it anymore. Knelt down in front of her, grasping her wrists and gently pulling her hands away from her face. "Chloe, look at me."

She struggled a bit, but finally raised her eyes to meet his. Her lips still quivered slightly, said in a small voice, "I need a tissue, please."

Lex smiled softly, taking the tissues Dr. Abbott handed to him and passing them to Chloe. She took the tissues, made quick work of blotting her cheeks and blowing her nose. Looked up at him with slightly watery eyes.

And for a moment he thought he might drown in them.

Barely managed to force out, "Everything's going to be okay, Chloe. We'll figure it out."

Her eyes filled with tears again. She nodded, trying to blink the tears back. Gave up and rubbed the tissues against her eyes, letting herself cry some more.

Lex leaned forward, pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her.

She tried to pull away, but he wouldn't release her, just tightened his arms until she finally turned her face towards him, burrowing into his shoulder and neck. Her arms ended up on his sides and she clutched at him, her hands pulling and clenching erratically.

He could feel her hot tears soaking into his shirt and the slight tremor of her body as he held her. He wished he could make it stop. Wished there was quick cure for that kind of heartache.

Eventually she started to squirm, pushing him away gently as she tried to sit back on the couch. She smiled at him sheepishly, "Thanks, Lex…"

Lex glanced away uncomfortably, "You don't need to thank me…"

"So, maybe I want to."

Lex didn't argue, just reveled in the warm feeling in his stomach. Not sure what had set off the distinct feeling of tenderness that washed over him.

"You heard what I said, then?" she queried hesitantly.

Lex cleared his throat, replied quietly, "Yes."

"Do you understand what it means?"

Lex frowned, "To an extent, but an explanation would be helpful."

Chloe took a deep breath, said in a rush, "I'm addicted to sex. It controls me. Makes me do things I otherwise wouldn't do. Things I'm ashamed of. Things I generally hide from those close to me because the shame and guilt eats away at me."

Lex wasn't sure what her response really meant. Didn't know if that meant she otherwise wouldn't have had sex with him or if she was referring to something else entirely. Wasn't really sure if he wanted to know either way, but finally managed to ask, "Such as?"

Chloe gave him a pained look then glanced at Dr. Abbott pleadingly. The doctor just gave her a pointed look and nodded towards him. Told her she had no choice but to face this without ever saying a word.

Lex let the silence stretch out until he couldn't take it anymore. Stated, "Spit it out, Chloe. It's not like you're going to scare me away or anything. You meant too much to me for that."

He saw Dr. Abbott smirk triumphantly and slant a knowing look at Chloe. She, in turn, blatantly averted her gaze. Obviously didn't want to acknowledge what seemed to be an inside joke.

Instead changed the subject entirely. "As you already know, I have a rather extensive porn collection."

Lex nodded. Resisted the urge to snort as he waited for her to continue.

She took a deep breath, blushing painfully as she continued, "That's part of it, pornography and…uh…masturbation. I get drawn in by it, consumed even, and I can't quit until my…urge…has been fulfilled."

Lex put a hand up, stopping her to ask, "And that's what you were doing when I walked in on you yesterday?"

Dr. Abbott made a strangled noise, interrupted, "You got caught?!"

Again Chloe refused to look at her. Just put a hand in her pocket and pulled out something. Handed it to the doctor, muttering, "Yes, now just shut up."

Dr. Abbott took what was offered, barely containing an amused chuckle as she did so.

Lex frowned, annoyance and puzzlement churning in his gut. "Is that any way for a therapist to respond to a patient's obvious distress?"

The doctor looked at him mildly, snorted slightly under her breath. Remained quiet.

Chloe smiled awkwardly, "She's not really my therapist, Lex. Sure, I tell her everything, and she's a licensed psychiatrist, but- "

"I don't get paid," Dr. Abbott interrupted. "That means, I'm more Chloe's friend than actual therapist and I can say anything I want without risk of being sued. But I can still give her my expert opinion when necessary. It's the best of both worlds."

_Confusion thy name is Lex._

They must've noticed the confused look on his face because Chloe squirmed in her seat. Said hesitantly, "I met S – Dr. Abbott – at a Sex Addict's Anonymous meeting ages ago. She noticed my very obvious discomfort with the public setting and she was worried that I would abandon the meetings and in doing so, any effort to heal. So she offered to meet with me privately and after some coaxing I finally agreed. We've seen each other at least once a week ever since, though a lot of the time is spent bullshitting about other things. It really has helped. The therapy, not the bullshitting…"

Dr. Abbott laughed softly, "I suppose you probably think that might defeat the purpose of seeing a therapist, but when you've known each other as long as we have it all ends up being moot."

Chloe smiled, nodding her head in agreement, "Different things work for different people. I think if I had decided to see an actual therapist – solely for the purpose of therapy, I mean – I probably would've bailed ages ago. It's the camaraderie that made me want to come back and I've managed to do some healing in the process, so I think it's worked out for the best."

Dr. Abbott held up the prize Chloe had handed her, laughing, "And I certainly appreciate the bets you lose!"

Chloe stuck her tongue out at her, grumbled, "You only win four out of five…"

Dr. Abbott peered at her skeptically until Chloe relented, "Okay, nine out of ten, but that's only because you cheat!"

Lex frowned again, interrupting the now playful conversation before their teasing confused him even further. "Wait a minute. Exactly how long has this been going on?"

Chloe suddenly looked nervous, her fidgeting hands proving as much. "A while…"

Lex gave her a pointed look, "How long, Chloe?"

He could tell she didn't want to tell him. Was relieved when she finally said, "It started when I was about fifteen, but it didn't get out of control until later on. I think I was a sophomore in college when things started to really boil over."

Lex was surprised. Couldn't believe this had been going on for that length of time without him ever having even a clue that anything was wrong. Wondered how he could've missed it. How everyone could've missed it.

Said, "But you had boyfriends in college. Didn't they notice or try to help you or something?"

Chloe rolled her eyes at him, "Come on, Lex. How long have we been friends? We both know all sorts of sordid details of the others life, but you didn't know anything was wrong with me. I hid it from everyone I've ever been close to."

Lex immediately averted his gaze, not wanting to look her in the eyes as the heat raced up his neck. He was horrified that something of this caliber had gone unnoticed. Wondered how she could even stand to be around him knowing how self-centered he was.

"Oh for the love of Christ Lex, cut it out."

He glanced up at her questioningly, asked, "What?"

She glared at him, "You know what! Stop acting as if it's your fault that you didn't know. I worked damn hard at concealing my issues and if you had ever asked me about it I just would've just denied it anyway. There's no way you could've known without me confessing."

"Would you have ever told me, if I hadn't found out…the way I did…"

She didn't hesitate, "Yes, I would've told you. I was just working myself up to telling you when you found out…the way you did…"

'Why were you going to tell me? After all this time why did you finally decide to confide in me?"

She gave him a soft look, smiled faintly, 'Because I need you. I need you to help me get better. I just don't think I can do it without you."

"Do what exactly?"

"Heal," she responded emphatically. "I need to put all this behind me and move forward and I can't do that by myself."

"Why me?" he asked. He knew he was pushing her. Knew he might be pushing her too much, but felt like he had to know.

Chloe took a shuddering breath, "Because you're my closest friend, Lex, and you're the only one I can trust to objectively evaluate my behavior and keep me on track."

Lex snorted, "Objective? Me?"

"Yes. You're totally objective when given a responsibility. You take such things seriously and I know you wouldn't ignore it if I happened to veer off course."

Lex stared at her, his mouth almost dropping open in disbelief. The woman really was infuriating. Infuriating and dense and Lex wanted to reach out and squeeze the infuriating denseness right out of her. Instead just shook his head, chuckling softly.

Chloe stared at him questioningly, "What? What's wrong?"

Lex shook his head again, "It's nothing, Chloe. I'm just a little concerned that you've lost all your normal common sense."

She glared, huffed defensively, "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Your thinking I'm objective has got to be the craziest thing I've heard all day."

She gaped at him, "But you are objective when it comes to responsibility!"

"Business-wise, yes," Lex stated firmly. "I have no problems being detached and cutthroat in my business dealings. But you are far from a business deal, Chloe, and there's absolutely nothing objective about the way I think about you."

She stared at him, confusion evident on her face. Lex smirked inwardly, somewhat pleased that he managed to put her off balance. Again. Decided not to gloat though and said, "Don't worry about it, Chloe. Just tell me what you need from me and I'll do the best I can to help you."

She peered at him skeptically, "Maybe you should hear more before you agree."

"You can tell me whatever you feel like, but I can assure you it won't matter. I'm going to be there for you in any way I can."

"No Lex, this is going to be far too complicated and messy for you to jump into without knowing some of the finer details." Chloe was gazing at him intently, her hands fidgeting again as she continued. "More than likely I'll end up saying terrible things to you. I'll hurt your feelings and mock you when I do. I'll overreact about the stupidest things and have absolutely no reaction about the important things. I'll rant and rave and show you all the dark sides you didn't know I had in me. And I'll hate you…I'll hate you for trying to help me."

Lex watched her silently, wondered how much of what she said was true. Decided it didn't matter and turned to Dr. Abbott, asking, "What are the main concerns in this process?"

She raised her brows, replied, "Being honest is the first concern. Chloe has to be absolutely truthful, with you as well as with herself, about everything in her life. Nothing is sacred anymore. You should be privy to her actions and her thoughts and she has to be responsible for upholding her end of the bargain, which is to veer away from things that tempt her."

Lex looked at Chloe, "And do you think you can do that? Will you be able to reveal every little detail of your life and not resent me for calling you out on bullshit?"

Chloe stared at her hands, squirming some as she answered. "It'll be really difficult at first, but I think it'll get easier as time passes. And I want to try. I can't promise your opinion of me won't be lowered, though. After hearing my inner thoughts for a while, you'll probably get a pretty clear idea of how seriously twisted I am."

Lex scowled at her, "And there's to be no insulting yourself, Chloe. Not everything is your fault and it's about time you accepted that as fact."

Dr. Abbott smiled at him, "Absolutely, Lex. I'm glad you mentioned that. Chloe's self-loathing will work against you most of the time. She's lived with shame and guilt for most of her life and it's going to take a while for that mindset to shift."

"Does she ever have positive feelings about herself?

"Sometimes," Dr. Abbott responded. "Deep down, I think she's quite aware that she's a beautiful, desirable woman, but the addiction always interferes. Whenever she starts to feel too good about herself, she sabotages herself by doing something she feels is shameful."

Lex glanced at Chloe, stifling a smile as she glowered at both of them. "I'm still in the room, you know…"

Lex ignored her, asked, "What's the first step?"

"The first thing you have to do is get rid of any temptations."

Lex quirked a brow at her, "Temptations?"

Dr. Abbott smirked, nodded, "Yes, temptations. The porn and toy collections have to go. Those types of things can be detrimental to a person's recovery. And once they're gone, they have to stay gone. I can't count how many relapses she's had. Always making a stop at the porn shop for some kind of -"

"Hey!" Chloe exclaimed. "Isn't anything sacred anymore!?"

"Now Chloe, we just got through saying how everything has to be based on honesty. You can't expect Lex to truly help without getting all the necessary information first. He needs to know that you have times when you're incapable of controlling yourself. He'll need to make himself available during these moments and calling him from the porn shop isn't really all that productive."

Chloe glared at her, "Fine. But I'm not throwing my stuff out. He can take it and hide it or whatever, but I can't afford to keep restocking my collections."

Lex frowned, "Will there ever be a time when…restocking…would be appropriate?"

Dr. Abbott nodded, "Definitely. Addicts are perfectly capable of maintaining healthy, intimate relationships once they've moved past the foundation of their addiction. I'm sure Chloe will too, eventually. But there's one thing you should probably know before agreeing to this."

"What's that?" he asked.

"It would be easier for Chloe, and for yourself as well, if you stay as close to her as possible. Having too much time to her own devices is dangerous and given the right set of circumstances, she'll surely lapse back into old habits. And if this happens too often, she might even decide to abandon the healing process completely."

"That sounds logical," he replied. "What do you recommend, then?"

Dr. Abbott blinked at him, a small smile curving her lips as she replied, "It would be more productive to Chloe if you make yourself available all the time. And there's only one way for that to really be possible."

Lex peered at her suspiciously, asked mildly, "and that would be?"

"You'll have to move in."


	8. Chapter 6: A Settlement, of sorts

**Chapter Six – A Settlement, of sorts **

Lex was slightly taken aback by the doctor's statement. Did quite well in hiding his shock even though he was having a mental debate on crowing like a fool or passing out like an idiot. Either way, he was bound to feel some sort of stupidity.

And his shock wasn't because he hadn't thought about it before; he'd more than thought about it. He'd had some of the most cliqued dreams imaginable. He just never thought the opportunity would present itself this quickly – or under such bizarre circumstances.

Realistically, if he wasn't already in the habit of being a better man for Chloe, he might even try to take advantage of it. But since a long time ago he'd stupidly promised her that he'd stop being a cad, at least in respects to her and their friendship, he really had no other choice. He had to do his best to help her without helping himself. To anything she might offer.

_iFuck/i_.

Pushed all underhanded motives out of his mind. Finally managed to take a breath. Said simply, clearly, "Okay."

Dr. Abbott smiled, "Excellent!"

Chloe gaped at him, sputtered, "Wh-what do you mean – i_okay/i_?!"

She was giving him a decidedly dirty look, her annoyance radiating off of her in waves.

Lex smirked, pleased with the fact he'd put her off balance. Said pleasantly, "i_Okay/i_, I'll move in with you."

"I didn't ask you to move in with me! Don't I get a say in any of this?!"

"Of course," Lex responded. "You can decide what time is best for the move."

She glared at him, seethed, "Maybe I don't want you to move in with me!"

Lex did his best not to react. Ignored the irrational pang in his chest. Knew it was stupid to be hurt just because she didn't want to lose her independence. It wasn't anything personal against him. There wasn't anything to be upset about.

"Too bad," Dr. Abbott interjected. "You said you wanted to make a real go at healing and moving on with your life and this is the best way to do it. Now either you're serious about this or you're not, so make up your mind."

Chloe thought about it for a few moments, indecision evident on her face. She chewed her bottom lip then huffed a few times, made what sounded almost like a growling sound in the back of her throat.

Finally scowled, grumbled, "Fine. He can move in, but he better not get any ideas."

Lex raised a brow, tried to temper his annoyance, said, "Don't worry yourself, Chloe. My i_ideas/i_ are purely based on friendship."

Chloe gave him a dirty look and Dr. Abbott eyed her coolly. Ignored the interplay and stated, "Good. Tomorrow Lex and I will be over to search your apartment. It would be helpful if you would just have all the tempting articles out for the taking, but we have no problem searching as thoroughly as necessary. And don't think for one minute I don't remember the trunk under your sofa."

Chloe sat up, gasped in outrage, "It sure is a sad day when a girl is stripped of all her secrets."

Dr. Abbott rolled her eyes, "Quit being melodramatic, Chloe. Since asking for Lex's help was your idea in the first place, the least you can do is be accommodating and not whine about it."

Chloe gave her an annoyed look but remained quiet. She sat back on the couch and folded her arms in front of her. Was obviously sulking.

Lex smirked inwardly, unable to fully control his amusement as Chloe continued to glare at them. She was angry and looked like she wanted to disagree about something. Perhaps about them going through her things and removing any offending items. Perhaps just out of principle.

He knew he wouldn't be very excited about having people going through his stuff, even if they already knew what they'd find. He took his own privacy seriously and had always tried to respect Chloe's privacy as well. Even if it meant he'd miss something rather important such as this.

Of course, he wasn't entirely thrilled about staying at Chloe's apartment. It was certainly comfortable enough, but it was far smaller than his penthouse and he was having a hard time figuring out how the two of them would manage not killing each other within a few days. Staying there really didn't make any sense.

Lex frowned slightly, "Wait a minute. Wouldn't it make more sense for Chloe to move in with me? That would put her in a completely new environment and since it's significantly larger than Chloe's apartment, we'd be able to get out of each other's way once in a while."

Chloe glared at him, said frankly, "You don't want me to move into your penthouse, Lex."

He gave her an offended look, asked, "And why not?"

She smirked, "Because I'd snoop through all your shit."

Lex gave her a superior look, "That would only be a problem if I had something there worth hiding."

Chloe snorted, mumbled faintly, "You always have something to hide…"

Lex wanted to argue with her. Wanted to explain that some people needed to have secrets. That some secrets are better off as such. Decided to stay quiet.

He knew she was trying to goad him. Knew that most of the callous, jackass comments spewing from her lips were caused by insecurity and the impending loss of her freedom.

Wished that his head and his heart would get in line with each other.

Dr. Abbott cleared her throat, said, "Before we get too involved in the moving process, there are a few things we need to get straight." She paused, made sure she had their attention then continued, "First, you two need to decide where you're going to live. Either way, Chloe's place will be searched and everything tempting will be hauled out. Second, we have to outline a plan; write out a set of rules and limitations that must be adhered to at all times. Failure to do so will result in failure of treatment and the entire process will have to begin again."

"What kinds of rules and limitations?" Chloe asked suspiciously.

"You know the drill, Chloe. No toys, no pornographic videos, pictures, magazines, books or images of any kind. Anything that could be deemed even remotely erotic has to go. There's also no internet access, no masturbation, and there can be no sexual contact with yourself or anyone else. Anything that you consider sensual, erotic or arousing is off-limits."

With each word the scowl on Chloe's face deepened, until her features were almost twisted with disgust. She was fidgeting her hands in her lap, one leg shaking nervously, her cheeks reddening hotly. But she otherwise stayed quiet. Didn't even look at him.

Lex was a little surprised about her embarrassment. It wasn't as it he didn't know about her perverse habits. He'd already seen a lot of it firsthand.

Lex nodded, asked, "How long does she have to follow these strict guidelines?"

"At least six months."

Chloe groaned loudly, obviously distressed by this timeline, complained, "Six months!? Are you out of your mind?!"

Dr. Abbott didn't flinch, didn't even blink, just said calmly, "After six months we can reconvene and evaluate her progress. If things have gone smoothly, we can begin reintroducing different temptations and see how she reacts. If she reacts normally and maintains a healthy mental state, then we can continue to move forward."

Lex took a deep breath, trying to figure a correct way to inquire about his own role in all this. Finally just shrugged, asked bluntly, "And how do I fit into all this? Am I considered a temptation?"

Chloe snorted, "Of all the arrogant…"

Dr. Abbott put a hand up, effectively stopping the beginning of a potential rant. Explained, "That's an excellent question, Lex, and something I almost overlooked."

Chloe interrupted, said firmly, "We're not having sex again."

Dr. Abbott's eyes widened, "Excuse me...iagain/i? And when did this happen?"

Chloe's face reddened, but she answered brokenly, "Yesterday…after he…caught me…"

Dr. Abbott frowned, said angrily, "Well then, I guess you need a reminder that i_you_/i need to be honest with i_me/i _about these types of things. This could seriously complicate your recovery."

Chloe rolled her eyes, "It won't be a problem. Don't worry about it."

Dr. Abbott didn't look convinced. Her gaze shifting from one to the other skeptically.

Lex scowled, pushed back his pride and agreed, "I can assure you that it won't be a problem. I'll do whatever is best for Chloe, whether she likes it or not."

Chloe gasped in outrage, "Don't flatter yourself, Lex…"

Lex ignored her, instead asked, "Will I have to deny myself as well?"

Dr. Abbott smirked, "When in the presence of Chloe, yes, you'll have to deny yourself the same things. But when you're on your own, you can do as you please. Just don't talk about it. Flaunting your sexual conquests will only make things more difficult for Chloe."

Chloe shifted uncomfortably. Didn't appear to be too happy with the current discussion.

Which made Lex wonder what she was thinking. She didn't really look jealous about the thought of Lex fucking someone else. But she seemed unusually pensive and far too quiet.

Which made him ask tentatively, "So I can have sexual contact with other people as long as I don't discuss it with Chloe?"

Dr. Abbott nodded, "Yes. As long as Chloe has absolutely nothing to do with it, you can do as you please."

Chloe's eyes had dropped to the floor, but she still didn't say anything. She was almost squirming now, her hands clenched into fists, her feet now flat on the floor.

So Led pushed again, said, "So any kind of recreational pleasure has to take place outside the residence, unless Chloe's not actually there. Is that right?"

Dr. Abbott nodded, opened her mouth to reply, but was quickly cut off by Chloe.

"For the love of Christ, Lex," Chloe interjected heatedly. "What the fuck's so hard to understand?! You can fuck whatever you want as long as I don't get any pleasure out of it! Plain and simple! It's not fucking rocket science!"

Dr. Abbott covered a laugh with a cough, "Exactly."

Lex gave her an arrogant look, "Just making sure I understand."

She snorted at him, said knowingly, "Sure..."

Dr. Abbott sighed, "And I will need to see both of you twice a week, once together and once individually. We can decide when the group meeting will be, but both of you need to contact me on your own to set up your own times."

"Are we supposed to keep our own meetings a secret?" Lex asked.

"No, but I'd rather you not discuss it beforehand. I don't want anyone being influenced unnecessarily, consciously or not. And I'd like to do the individual meetings early in the week and then have you come in together later in the week. That way we can discuss any issues before they become a serious problem."

Chloe sighed, "Fine. Just tell me when and I'll be here. With bells on."

Lex couldn't help but chuckle softly, said, "Me too. But without the bells."

Dr Abbott smiled then stood up, said, "I'm going to draw up an agreement so we can get the specifics out of the way. You two decide where you're going to live and I'll return shortly."

"We should stay at my place." They both said at the same time.

Chloe glared at him, "I'll be more comfortable in my own environment, Lex, and since my life is going to be changing so much, I think I should be allowed some kind of comfort."

"There are a lot of comforts in my penthouse that are not in your apartment," Lex stated. "So it makes more sense for us to stay there."

She looked at him mockingly, sneered, "Not likely, Lex. The bimbos and brainless whores would have to vacate, remember?"

"No need to get nasty, Chloe, I was jut trying to be helpful. At least we'd have room to think at my place. At yours we'd kill each other for sure."

"Like having more space would stop that from happening!"

Lex glared at her, muttered, "Now you're just being unreasonable."

She glared back, quipped, "So what's your point?"

They hmphed. At the same time.

Then neither of them said anything, they just stared at each other challengingly. Lex could tell she wanted to say something else to him. Knew that her urge to lash out at him was strong. It was written all over her face and in the tense lines of her body.

And Lex was unreasonably amused by it. Decided to help her along. Said offhandedly, "I certainly hope you're capable of controlling your lasciviousness around me, Chloe. I'd rather not have to crush you."

Chloe gave him a snotty look. Snorted, "Seriously Lex, get over yourself. I'm sure I won't have any problems in controlling anything around you."

He gave her an offended look, scoffed, "Are you saying you don't find me attractive?"

Chloe shook her head at him, her lips twisting in amusement. It was obvious that she knew he was fucking with her. And she didn't seem to want to play afterall.

She tilted her head at him, a faint smile curving her mouth, "So you're really going to help me?"

He sighed heavily, melodramatically, "It sure looks that way."

She squinted at him, "What's the catch?"

Then again, maybe she does.

He scowled back, "There is no catch. We're friends and I'll always help you. No matter what the problem is."

She continued to squint at him and he knew his plan had backfired. Finally she said, "We're not allowed to have sex again."

Lex choked, his scowl deepening as he responded, "I'm well aware of that fact, but believe me when I tell you that sex has absolutely nothing to do with this."

She frowned, "Why not? Was it not good enough for you?"

"Chloe, you're being ridiculous. You know damned well the sex was great." Lex gave her a long-suffering look, "I was just telling you that I'm not helping you because I think I'm going to get laid. I'm helping you because you're my friend and I happen to care about you."

She laughed. Stuck her tongue out at him. And he couldn't help but smile at her. Said, "You're incorrigible."

She nodded, her expression softening slightly, "You do know I'm going to torture you, right?"

"I would expect anything less."

She snickered, said pleasantly, "Well, if nothing else, the limits of your control will be seriously challenged. That should be fun."

Lex didn't reply. Just snorted.

Knew she was right.

Wondered what the fuck he'd gotten himself into.


	9. Interlude III

**Interlude III**

Chloe Sullivan is a curious creature by nature.

She questions everything, even things she has no business questioning.

Things that should be off-limits, taboo, or merely out-of-reach.

She'd had to face a lot of these kinds of problems during her long, tumultuous relationship with Lex.

But still, she'd often wondered what Lex was like behind closed doors.

Thought about what kind of person he was without the cameras and gossip and sensational bullshit.

She wondered if he had any habits that didn't fit his public persona. If he listened to heavy metal music or wore women's clothing. If he went on crazy chocolate binges and then purged out of guilt. If he watched cartoons or liked to knit. Or some other strange habit that was just…strange.

And so, for the past month she'd watched for signs of strangeness. She peeked at him when he was working in his study. Peeked at his sleeping form on the rare mornings he slept later than she did. Peeked at him when he was eating, watching television, drinking scotch, reading the newspaper, confessing all sorts of heartfelt thoughts during their therapy sessions.

She'd even peeked at him in the shower.

But sadly she never found anything even remotely out of the ordinary.

It was almost as if he really was as boring as everyone thought him to be.

Until now.

Chloe is home early. Very, very early.

She sneaks up to her apartment in the hopes of catching him unaware and she's ecstatic that she manages to do so. He has no reason to expect her to come home early, so he must be doing something just a little bit strange. He can't uphold this false persona of normalcy indefinitely. It just isn't healthy.

She leaves her shoes by the door and walks quietly through to her living room. Pauses in the center of the room. Listens intently then follows a very distinct noise towards the back of the apartment. Walks all the way down the hallway towards her bedroom.

She giggles triumphantly when she sees the door ajar. Is almost surprised that he didn't at least shut it. Wonders briefly why the fuck he's making those noises in her room instead of his own. Or even in the bathroom – anywhere but in iher/i bedroom.

Chloe stops in front of the door, peeks inside the room. Gasps at what she sees.

Lex is standing directly in her line of view, turned slightly away from the doorway. His pants are open, pooled near his knees, his erect cock out in the open for the world to see. His hand is wrapped tightly around his length, stroking with smooth, efficient strokes.

His eyes are closed in concentration, but his other hand is holding something.

Something colorful. Something silky. And something obviously not his.

She smirks, rather amused that he chose to jerk off with something of hers. Finds it somewhat bizarre, but more endearing than anything else. She can't really blame him. She'd spent the past month torturing him on purpose.

She's actually kind of surprised he made it this long without cracking.

A low grunt startles her back to the moment. She studies him more closely. Takes stock of his rumpled appearance. From his unbuttoned shirt to the sheen of sweat on his face and neck to his unusually bare feet.

Chloe frowns, her eyes intent on his bare feet. He never strolls around barefoot. She can't recall one moment over the past month where she's seen him without shoes or, at the very least, his standard issue, boring, black dress socks.

He must've been on his way to take a shower when his libido distracted him.

She's unreasonably surprised by his bare feet and to make it even worse, she finds this image of Lex to be unreasonably appealing. Far more appealing than his typical controlled, sophisticated self. She definitely prefers him barefoot, rumpled suit all but falling off of him, sweaty and hot and clutching some colorful scrap of material that doesn't belong to him.

He grunts again, and her gaze shifts back to his face. His features are tense and he looks almost pained. He squeezes his eyes shut, bites his bottom lip, his grip on the material tightening until his knuckles are white.

Then he opens his eyes, his head turns slightly and his hooded gaze meets hers from across the room. A brief flare of panicked recognition is all she sees before the lust and heat overtakes him. And he chokes, "Chloe." Comes in short, powerful spurts. All over the floor of her bedroom.

She's appalled that he spotted her, even more shocked to hear her name uttered so gutturally, then immediately torn between outrage at seeing his sperm littering her bedroom floor and the arousal pulsing to life inside her. She knows she should be annoyed. Or angry. Or something other than hot and bothered and ready to go.

She whimpers mutely, her hand coming up to stifle the sound as she watches him watching her. She's not sure what she should've expected, but hearing him say her name like ithat/i wasn't it at all.

And she's appalled by how much she likes hearing it.

Rubs her legs together as her inner muscles clench.

She feels the quick-fire pulse of addiction building inside her. Feels it boiling up, feels it trying to consume her. Wants to be burned, wants to be consumed. Right or wrong, it doesn't matter.

She backs away from the door, gulps for breath. Pushes the inferno away. Tries to make it disappear. Tries to wish it into oblivion.

He's panting, his hand still on his cock, the other still clutching the vibrant fabric. He opens his mouth to say something then hesitates. Takes a step towards her, but gets caught in his pants still around his legs.

And she knows she has to leave. At this moment. Right now. This is her only chance.

She turns, makes her way through her apartment, quickly slipping on her shoes and walking out the door. Doesn't even shut it behind her. Hears him shout her name as she makes for the stairwell. Runs as fast as she can down the stairs and out of the building. Stops momentarily on the sidewalk, her hands gripping the sides of her head frantically as she tries to think. Blindly runs up the street, not thinking or seeing or being.

Just running.

She runs and runs until she finds herself outside Dr. Abbott's apartment complex.

She bolts into the building, down the hallway. Pounds on the door. Sobs in distress when there's no immediate answer. Pounds and sobs and pounds and sobs until her hand and head hurt with it.

She's frantic, needs to purge the feeling inside her. Needs to see the only person who understands. The only person who can sympathize and chastise using the same words.

Falls forward as the door suddenly flies open.

"Chloe!?" Dr. Abbott exclaims. "What's wrong? Has something happened?"

Chloe walks past her into the room. Walks over to the sofa and sprawls on it haphazardly. She takes a deep breath. Closes her eyes and tries to get herself together.

"Chloe, tell me what's wrong."

"It was happening," she stammers, gasping for breath. "The pulsing was everywhere and I could feel it and hear it and taste it and I just couldn't make it stop."

"What happened to bring this on?"

Chloe frowns, not too keen on confessing how she'd deliberately been set on catching Lex in some kind of lewd act. Finally mutters, "I walked in on Lex…"

"Walked in on Lex doing what, exactly?" she prods.

Chloe doesn't want to tell her. She wishes she'd gone somewhere else. Someplace where she could lie and no one would know.

"Jerking off," Chloe huffs then opens her eyes. "I caught Le-" she pauses, takes in Dr. Abbott's current state of undress. "Why the hell are you wearing a towel?"

Dr. Abbott gives her a dry look, says, "Because I was happily taking a shower when I was so rudely interrupted by the constant pounding on my door."

Chloe blinks then snickers, "Oh…sorry…"

"Sure you are. You just sit tight while I get changed into something decent. This towel isn't exactly comfortable and I'm afraid it might come as at any moment."

"Take your time," Chloe responds then grins at her. "And if it makes you feel any better, you look hot in a towel."

Dr. Abbott gives her a patiently amused look then walks out of the room. She returns a short time later wearing comfortable loungewear and combing her hair. She sits in a large, comfy chair near Chloe then looks at her expectantly.

Chloe takes a deep breath, confesses, "I accidentally caught Lex masturbating."

"Accidentally?" she asks disbelievingly.

Chloe looks at her hands, fidgets. Says, "Yes, accidentally. I came home earlier than expected and caught him jerking off in my bedroom."

Dr. Abbott makes an exasperated sound which draws Chloe's attention back to her face. The doctor is looking at her skeptically, like she's not believing a word of it. "Tell me the truth, Chloe."

Chloe glowers, wants to tell her to go fuck herself. Wishes once again that she'd chosen fantasy over reality. Fantasy usually works out the way it's supposed to.

"Fine!" Chloe bursts out. "I came home early and snuck upstairs in the hopes I'd catch him doing something strange! And I did, so it's not like my suspicions were way off or anything..."

Dr. Abbott raises a brow at her questioningly, inquires, "Since when is masturbation considered strange?"

"Well, I'm not allowed to do it." Chloe replies sullenly.

The doctor gives her a incredulous look, states, "That's because you push it over the edge into destructive. For most people masturbation is a perfectly healthy alternative to sex. It's far safer than having sex with someone else, that's for sure."

Chloe huffs, "Don't take his side."

"I'm not taking anyone's side. I'm just trying to figure out why Lex's masturbating made you run over here and practically break my door down. It would be a lot easier if you'd just finish telling me what you were saying when you first got here."

Chloe huffs again. Glares at the floor. Considers getting up and walking out.

Dr. Abbott narrows her eyes at her knowingly. Says calmly, "Don't even think about it, Chloe. I'd be on you before you cleared the door."

"Are you threatening me?"

The older woman smirked, "Only if you're afraid of an old woman in her loungewear."

Chloe couldn't help but laugh. Was glad for it as some of the tension melted away and she immediately felt calmer. "I don't know what happened," she says calmly. "One minute I was watching him jerk off in my bedroom and the next I was running up the street."

"What happened when he came? Did he do anything outwardly strange? Did he say anything?"

Chloe peers at her awkwardly, "He was holding something that I'm sure wasn't his. And he said my name, right as he…. "

Dr. Abbott rolls her eyes, interjects dryly, "Ejaculated?"

Chloe feels the heat in her face. Wants to cover her embarrassment with her hands. Can't believe that she's embarrassed at all. Just keeps her eyes on the floor and nods, unable to speak.

"What's wrong, Chloe? Why can't you look at me?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. I guess I'm embarrassed. Even after all the things we've talked about, I still get embarrassed when I react inappropriately."

"And you reacted inappropriately?"

Chloe nods, "I did, when he said my name my reaction was entirely inappropriate."

"And was it your name that made you freak out and come to me?"

She shakes her head, smiles wickedly, says, "I don't think I ran because he said my name. That actually made me feel kind of…proud."

The older woman looks at her strangely, "If hearing him say your name made you feel proud, then why'd you run from it?"

Another rush of heat colors her cheeks, and she fidgets nervously. Says hesitantly, "Because – because it turned me on. Made me want to do things I'm not supposed to do."

"Like what?"

Chloe takes a deep breath, manages to answer clearly, "I wanted to jump him. I wanted it to be my hand on his cock, giving him pleasure. I wanted to taste him and smell him and feel him. I wanted to bust right in there and fuck him senseless. I wanted to take him and be consumed by him all at the same time."

She's panting slightly just from saying it out loud. She feels strange, all tingly and needy and hot. But there's no sign of the pulsing. She doesn't feel out of control and wild. She just feels – hungry.

And a little bit strange.

Dr. Abbott's voice brings her out of her reflection, "And how is that so wrong?"

Chloe gapes at her, cries, "Because he's Lex! My best friend! I can't just go around having lascivious thoughts about him! It's not right! And it's not fair to him!"

"Why not? He's a man. An attractive, desirable man. And he obviously finds you to be attractive and desirable otherwise he wouldn't be masturbating in your room, with your things. So what's wrong with thinking dirty thoughts about him?"

"It wasn't just a dirty thought! I wanted it so bad I could taste it! It consumed me and I had to fight it off! I had to force myself to walk away from it!"

"But you did? You ran out of there and didn't give in to your urge. Right?"

"Yes, but–"

"There's no but, Chloe," Dr. Abbott interrupts. "You were faced with a situation that you'd normally jump into without a thought. But this time you didn't give into it. You moved past it. That's some serious progress."

Chloe frowns, states, "I didn't simply move past it, I ran as fast as I could. Because if I'd thought about it any longer, I would've done exactly as I wanted. I'd have been on him in an instant."

"Chloe, the ifs have no bearing on this discussion. The point is you didn't just give in to the impulse to fuck Lex's brains out. You felt the compulsion building up and you did what you had to do to work around it. You're here talking through it, rather than fucking over it as you would've done a month ago."

Chloe snorts, "But I'd rather be there, fucking over it."

Dr. Abbott laughs, "Of course you would. And that's a perfectly normal and healthy reaction to an intense sexual situation. There's not a women alive that wouldn't get extremely turned on by witnessing that kind of scene."

Chloe smiles sheepishly, "Well, I wasn't turned on to start with. I was more amused than anything."

"No doubt," Dr. Abbott says humorously. "There's definitely a lot of humor to be found in watching a man with his cock in his hand."

Chloe giggles, nodding in agreement, "Mortification, just what Lex's doctor ordered."

Dr. Abbott's eyes widen, "Wait! He saw you?! He knows you caught him in your bedroom?!"

"Yes, he looked up at me right before he…you know…" Chloe felt herself heating up again.

"Yeah, I know. Right before he splooged all over your bedroom floor. Heh," Dr. Abbott looks at her in amusement. "This is very interesting…he didn't say anything? He just let you run off?"

"I heard him trying to follow me, but I had an advantage over him." Chloe says dryly, "My clothes were on securely and my shoes are slip-on."

"Well, you can't avoid him forever. Looks like you have an interesting conversation to go home to."

Chloe sighs then nods in agreement, asks quietly, "Do you think I might be exchanging one problem for another one?"

"What do you mean?"

"With Lex," she explains. "Do you think I'm just exchanging my sexual addiction for a dependency on him? Will I be able to separate the two once this is all over?"

"That's up to you, Chloe," Dr. Abbott replies. "That's entirely up to you."

Chloe returns to her apartment.

Trudges slowly up the stairs and makes her way to the door.

She'd almost made a detour on her way there. Thought quite seriously about stopping at the local bar and throwing back a few drinks. Knew that it would only make things worse and decided to just suck it up and get it over with.

She raises her key to the door, only to have it open with her hand in front of it.

Lex is standing there, looking anxious and decidedly peeved.

She raises an eyebrow at him questioningly, asks, "Were you waiting long?"

"Don't start with me, Chloe," he snaps angrily. "Just get your delectable ass in here."

She frowns, his choice of words seeming off somehow. She can tell how mad he is, feels the tension radiating off of him in waves. Says stubbornly, "Not if you're going to be mean."

Lex gives her a hard look, doesn't say anything. Just steps closer to her and heaves her over his shoulder before she can object. Kicks the door shut behind them as he carries her into the living room.

By the time she gets her wits about her, he's dumping her on the sofa.

She sputters, just about ready to let him have it when he puts his hands up. Glares at her and says, "I'm not really in the mood to listen to your ranting, so just shut it before I get really angry."

Her mouth snaps shut audibly. She wants to tell him to fuck off. Wants to rant and rave until he leaves her alone. Knows he won't actually leave, but relishes the thought anyway.

She hasn't seen him this visibly angry in a long time. Is a little turned on by it. Pushes the feelings to the back of her conscious. Focuses on him and the torrent of words spilling from his lips.

"I don't know what it is that makes you feel you have to run away from me all the time," he pauses, takes a breath then continues. "But I'm getting sick and tired of having to chase you. There's absolutely no reason for you to take off every time things get weird and I resent the fact that you seem to be incapable of working with me on this. Every time things get a little too difficult for you, whether you bring it upon yourself or not, you run away like some goddamn child and it's getting way beyond aggravating. "

She opens her mouth with a retort, but his cold, hard look stops her. She's not sure what's going on, but she's suddenly afraid. She's terrified that she's finally done it – that she's finally pushed him to the point of no return. That he's going to walk out on her for good.

He paces before her, talks with his expressions as well as his hands, "I have no idea why you chose to come home so early today, and frankly I don't really give a shit. You know I'm a normal, healthy man and I can't believe that the fact I jerk off occasionally comes as a great surprise to you, so I have no idea why you'd run away as if I was nothing more than some random stranger you caught jerking off in your panty drawer. I know it's embarrassing, I'm not exactly excited about the situation, but it is what it is and there's nothing that can be done about it now."

"You're right…"

Lex continues, oblivious of her comment, "We've been living together for a damned month. We're constantly in each other's space, constantly arguing, constantly on the brink of killing each other. You go out of your way to torture me, either by leaving racy lingerie all over the bathroom, or iforgetting/i to close the fucking bathroom door when you take a shower, or walking around practically naked…absolutely anything you can possibly dream up without actually making a serious move on me. And when you're not trying to istimulate/i me physically, you're making nasty comments about whatever comes to mind. And then, when you've tired of driving me insane, physically as well as mentally, you simply ignore I exist. I can't take it anymore. Something's got to change or else I'll be forced to do something you might regret."

She gapes at him, asks, "Wh—what are you gonna do?"

He looks down at her coolly, says, "I consider myself to be a very strong man, Chloe, but I have to say that I'm just about at the end of my rope on this one. Either you straighten your shit out and start treating me with some semblance of respect or I will do my best to sabotage any chance you have of ever getting better."

She gasps in outrage, "You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me."

Chloe gulps, swallows painfully. She's not sure what's gotten into Lex, and she's really not sure how to defuse the situation. She's obviously succeeded in pushing him over the edge. And now she has no idea why she wanted to in the first place.

She doesn't believe he'll intentionally sabotage her treatment. At least not seriously.

This is Lex. Her closest and dearest friend. One of the very few people who would ever truly want to help her and the only person she trusted with her secrets.

And now she might've ruined everything. Because she was too stubborn and miserable to accept his help with any kind of grace.

She takes a breath. Feels her bottom lip start to quiver dangerously. Bites down on it as she focuses on stopping the burn of tears behind her eyes.

She's not going to cry. She's not going to run away. She's going to sit here and take her comeuppance like a strong, capable woman is supposed to.

Manages to say, "You're right, Lex. About everything."

Lex frowns at her suspiciously. Remains quiet, his eyes intent on her face.

So continues, "My behavior over the past month has been reprehensible and absolutely horrifying. I've taken advantage of your willingness to help me and I've taken every available, and in some cases unavailable, opportunity to makes things difficult for you."

He nods sharply, "Yes, you've made this entire situation almost unbearable and you've gone out of your way to make it as agonizing as possible for me."

"I know and I truly am sorry, Lex. I hope I haven't ruined everything and I hope you'll give me a chance to make it right. I want to get better and I need your help to do so."

He's still watching her, mistrust and frustration still evident on his face.

So she continues, "You have no idea how grateful I am that you've put yourself out for me. How you've incorporated yourself into my life without any thought of yourself or what it might do to you."

"Chloe," Lex cuts in, his expression not quite as superior as before. "You should know by now that I'm not doing this as some selfless assertion of our friendship."

Her heart starts to pound in her chest. She's not certain where this conversation is going and she's not certain if she really wants to know. Some things are better left unsaid. Better not knowing.

But she frowns at him, asks anyway, "You're not?"

He rolls his eyes at her, says seriously, "No, I'm not."

She looks at him worriedly, asks uncertainly, "Then why are you doing it?"

Lex makes a loud exclamation of frustration, rubs his hands over his face then chuckles wryly. Raises his eyes to hers and states bluntly, "I'm doing all this because I love you. And not in any type of iplatonic/i way either. I ilove/i you. Not just as my friend, but as a beautiful, desirable woman who makes me crazy ninety-nine percent of the time. Do you get that? Do you understand what I'm telling you? I love you. Get used to it. I'm sick of living a lie and I'm not going to pretend to be your knight-in-shining-armor anymore."

Her mouth is hanging open ridiculously, but she's incapable of shutting it. She tries to form words, but all of them get stuck somewhere between her brain and her vocal chords. So she nods. Stares at him as if he has five heads and is breathing fire.

It's not that she's totally surprised by Lex's feelings because she's had some kind of clue for a while now. It's the fact that he actually said it. Out loud. In front of her.

It's just – unreal. And so not-Lex-like she's basically stunned into silence.

What happened to her brooding, sullen best friend? The man who'd rather burn in the pits of hell than put himself on the emotional chopping block. The man who swore he'd never profess any such thing to anyone ever again.

"Chloe," Lex's voice breaks through her reverie, gets her attention and she looks up at him dazedly. "Are you going to faint?"

Chloe makes an indignant noise in the back of her throat, huffs, "Most certainly not!"

He smirks at her, "Good. I was afraid you were getting all delicate on me or something."

She makes a face at him. Resists the childish urge to stick her tongue out at him.

Is grateful that he's willing to accept a non-comment as answer enough.

At least for now.

She doesn't know what he expects to happen now. She doesn't know what she expects to happen now.

Just knows that no matter how things are, she can't do it without him.

Says cautiously, "So what do we do now?"

He walks over to her and sits down beside her.

She looks at him, her heart nearly stopping as she registers the soft look in his eyes.

He puts a hand over hers, effectively stopping her fidgeting.

Smiles faintly, "We take it one step at a time."


	10. Chap 7: Between a rock and a hard place

**Chapter Seven – Between a rock and a hard place**

Lex's been through a lot of traumatic events.

He's successfully dodged bullets, freaks and money-hungry, vapid brunettes.

He's been kidnapped, beat up and knocked out.

He grew up motherless, with a father who worried more about keeping him down than showing any sort of affection. He survived many doomed marriages and even managed to overcome the evil clutches of his own manipulated fantasies.

He spent most of his life fighting for acceptance, imploring forgiveness and in some cases selling his very soul for something that was not only ridiculous, but absolutely unattainable.

But none of it prepared him for life with Chloe.

At first he thought moving in with Chloe would be easy. That each of them would do their best to make the other comfortable, and things would go as smoothly as could be expected. They were friends and friends did whatever was necessary to help each other out.

It didn't take long for him to realize how naïve that thought had been.

The very first day had been trial enough. Chloe was in a snit as soon as he arrived, and by the time Dr. Abbott walked in, the lines were clearly drawn. Chloe wasn't going to make this easy on anyone, least of all, him.

It took them over an hour to haul all the sexual paraphernalia out of her apartment. There was an arsenal of toys hidden under her sofa and, as it turned out, that was only the beginning.

They found paraphernalia stashed under her bed, under her mattress, under her pillow, in her closet, in her bureau, in the night stand, in the box hidden under her nightstand, under the sink in the bathroom, hidden amongst otherwise innocent looking objects littering the tub, in the medicine cabinet, in the linen closet, in an almost-secret compartment in the base of the tub.

By the time they finished, Lex was sweating, Dr. Abbott was cursing and Chloe was giving the term sulk a whole new meaning.

And Lex seriously considered hiring a moving van to haul all the stuff out of there.

Thinking back on it now, he managed to find some humor in it, but at the time no one had been amused at all. In fact, Lex had had the fleeting thought that he might want to get an extra lock on his door. Just in case she decided to off him in the middle of the night.

It took them quite a bit of time to find any common ground, but once that balance had been founded, things had gone quite well.

For the most part, of course.

The last issue they'd worked through was Chloe's annoyance with his secret cleaning service. She couldn't understand why he needed someone to clean for him and was furious that he'd been sneaking them in twice a week the entire time he'd been staying with her.

As far as Lex was concerned she should've known all along. It's not like she ever cleaned anything and there's no way she'd ever believe he was taking care of it on his own. As if the place cleaned itself on a regular basis. The fact she missed the obvious wasn't his problem and there was no way he'd forego the extravagances he could more than afford just because she felt strange having someone else clean her toilet.

Luckily, for both of them, Chloe adjusted quickly.

She did tease him unmercifully about his having most of his meals delivered, but she didn't complain about the fact he had enough food for two. She liked to cook, but sometimes there just wasn't enough time in the day and who didn't enjoy having dinner ready when they got home?

That's right – no one.

Chloe had done her best at easing up on him over the past two months. She no longer walked around barely dressed and her spying had dwindled to an occasional glance when she thought he wasn't looking.

But little did she know – he was _always_ looking.

He couldn't help it. At times it was almost as if he lived and breathed Chloe. She was all he ever thought about, all he ever dreamed about. And he kind of liked it that way.

Most of the time.

He still felt a little peculiar around her, said and did things that he didn't think he was capable of. He'd gotten more than a few strange looks from her, but no matter how hard he tried to control himself, he just couldn't help it. Sometimes the weirdest things came out of his mouth at the most inopportune moments.

And his revealing his feelings to her had been the most impulsive and reckless thing he'd ever done, but it was also exactly what he'd needed to begin a new part of his life.

Of course, that didn't mean he wasn't slightly mortified by it once in a while.

He had so many conflicting emotions, sometimes he felt as if he was going mad with it.

Which brought Lex here; to this very moment.

"Come again…"

"I told her I love her."

Dr. Abbott gaped at him, "And when did this happen?"

"A while back," he said. "While I was trying to explain a somewhat…embarrassing…situation."

Dr. Abbott raised a brow at him and snorted, "Oh, you mean after she caught you with your dick in your hand?"

Lex frowned. He knew Chloe had talked to Dr. Abbott about it because she'd told him so shortly afterwards. Lex had worried that he'd have to talk about it in their group discussion, but no one had ever mentioned it again. And he had to be a little relieved about it.

Lex had to give the good doctor a lot of credit for managing to maintain her professionalism in this mostly bizarre situation. But sometimes she failed miserably, which Lex had no problem with as long as it was Chloe on the receiving end of her sarcasm.

Lex scowled at her grumpily. Refused to answer. He knew he was acting the part of a petulant child, but sometimes he just couldn't help it. He was constantly surrounded by infuriating women and even the strongest of men had their limits. He wasn't going to take it anymore.

Then Dr. Abbott laughed and said, "Loosen up, Lex. I'm not here to judge you."

"Could've fooled me." He muttered sullenly.

She smiled at him, reached out and patted him on the knee. "You need to quit taking yourself so seriously. Everything is not a personal attack and my amusement doesn't automatically imply mockery. If I wanted to mock you, I would do so openly."

Lex shook his head, amusement quirking his lips. He was still adjusting to Dr. Abbott's strategies, and her unending wit was one tactic she used quite often. She always managed to get under his cool exterior and by the time he left her apartment, he usually felt slightly violated.

"She didn't answer me and we haven't discussed it since."

"How does that make you feel?"

Lex shrugged slightly, the conversation immediately making him uncomfortable. He pushed back his urge to lash out, instead managed to find his voice. Said, "Most of the time I'm fine with it."

"But," urged Dr. Abbott.

"It's still a little disappointing," he admitted. "I love her. She knows I love her. But I have no idea how she really feels about me."

"Do you think she feels the same way?"

"I know Chloe cares about me and most of the time I believe there's more to her feelings than she wants to admit. But once in a while that lingering doubt crowds me and I feel as if I'll never have what I really want."

"Sounds reasonable to me. No one likes being in limbo and that's basically where you've been for the past three months."

The past two months had been mostly uneventful. They'd managed to maintain a mostly sane routine since that fateful day when Chloe had walked in on him jacking off in her bedroom. They spent most of their free time together, but always respected the other's need for privacy.

Within reason.

Chloe was still watched more often than she liked, but she was now allowed monitored computer use and the occasional R-rated movie. Chaperoned, of course.

Lex sighed, "How likely is it that Chloe will ever be capable of having a normal, intimate relationship?"

"That all depends on Chloe," Dr. Abbott said. "But keep in mind that being a sexual being is not Chloe's real problem. It's her inability to control the impulse when she wants sex. Her craving sexual contact is perfectly reasonable and natural, but she allows it to control her life instead of her being in control of the urge. That's what we're trying to accomplish with having you live with her. We're forcing her to be responsible for her actions and how they affect her life as well as the lives of those around her."

Lex frowned. He'd pondered the sense of this logic a lot over the last few months. He couldn't quite fathom how anyone would think someone as irrevocably fucked up as him could ever be of help to anyone.

"But why choose me to live with her?" Lex asked. "How am I supposed to help her get control of her own impulses when I'm constantly trying to fight my own impulse to take as I please?"

Dr. Abbott peered at him thoughtfully, stated, "Maybe Chloe's not the only one who needs help."

Lex thought over Dr. Abbott's statement for the rest of the day.

At first he was a little annoyed at the implication that he needed any kind of help, but after further contemplation he realized that she was probably right. Or at least partly so.

He knew he had some issues regarding intimacy and maintaining a healthy relationship. It seemed perfectly normal to him considering his track record. Everyone he'd ever loved had betrayed him in some way, either by trying to steal what was rightfully his, by trying to kill him or simply by dying.

Of course, Lex was a reasonable adult and after many hours of reflection he was well aware of the fact that blaming his mother for dying was a ridiculous juvenile reaction to his grief. But knowing this didn't change how he felt about it. Even if he didn't show it.

Lex let himself into his – Chloe's – apartment and made his way through to the living room. Everything was quiet, but he immediately noticed that something wasn't right.

Chloe was seated on the couch. She looked tense and her hands were fidgeting nervously.

She looked blatantly guilty of something.

Lex sighed, said, "Might as well get it over with, Chloe, and just tell me now."

She raised her brows innocently, "Tell you what?"

Lex took a deep breath. His day had been long enough. He really didn't need Chloe's shit right now. "Fine. Don't tell me."

"There's nothing to tell, Lex."

Lex rolled his eyes, "If you say so," he said, then started to walk out of the room.

Chloe glared at him, sputtered, "How'd you know?"

Lex stopped in the doorway, peered at her knowingly, "I know you, Chloe. You'll never be able to pull one over on me."

That was the true too. He knew her better than anyone, partly because they'd spent so much time together and partly because his obsessive nature led to his filing away every piece of information he could find.

He walked over and sat down on the couch beside her. Leaned back and rested his arms along the back of the couch. Waited for her to confess.

She glared at her hands sullenly, contemplation evident as she fidgeted. Finally she sighed and leaned over, reaching under the couch.

"I snuck computer time," she muttered, pulling her laptop out from under the couch and setting it on her lap.

Lex shook his head, said, "Chloe, you know you're not supposed to be on the computer without someone to monitor your use. What were you thinking?"

Chloe rolled her eyes, "Of course I know, but sometimes I have to do what I'm not supposed to do. Otherwise you might think I'm getting all soft on you."

"Oh, never that."

She giggled, started to close her laptop only to have Lex's hand stop her. "Aren't you going to show me what you were up to?" he asked.

Her eyes widened, her lips parted and her eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere but at him. She looked as if she was looking for the quickest escape route and Lex knew her guilt stemmed from something other than the innocent use of her computer.

Lex closed his eyes. He knew he had to find out what she'd been doing, but he didn't want to know. He didn't want to know what kind of lewdness she'd been enthralled in. Didn't want to know how it affected her.

Forced his eyes open and stared at her expectantly.

Finally she sighed, opened the top of her computer and pushed it towards him.

The screen was still black, but the sound was on. He heard some breathless noises, and a loud groan. Then recognized his own voice saying Chloe's name.

He immediately felt the heat rise in his face. Had to resist the urge to toss the computer on the floor. To walk out and hide from his humiliation.

He watched in horror as an image of him jerking off slowly appeared on the screen. "Chloe," he gasped. "You have a video camera in your room?"

She nodded guiltily, her hands still fidgeting, but her eyes now focused on her flight.

"How often is it recording?"

"It's not usually on, but I'd hit the button by accident when I left earlier that day. I didn't realize it had recorded anything until I went to bed that night."

Lex closed the computer, leaned forward and set it on the table. He was appalled that they hadn't found the camera when they hauled all her toys out. But he was curious as to why she decided to keep the video. Asked, "And you decided to keep it because…?"

She flushed prettily, her eyes once again focused on her hands. She shifted uncomfortably, her brown furrowing as she answered. "I was using it for research purposes."

"Research purposes?"

"Yes," Chloe answered breathlessly. "Dr. Abbott told me my physical response to catching you was a normal reaction and I wanted to see if it would happen again."

"What reaction? What are you talking about?"

Chloe looked over at him, muttered, "It turned me on."

He smirked. He couldn't help it. He tried not to react at all, but as soon as the words left her lips he felt the uncertainty fade to self-satisfaction.

She glared at him, "Now don't let it go to your head, Lex. It's not like I'm getting a lot of action or anything."

He laughed, glad for the distraction, said, "True, but I'm most comfortable in my delusional fantasies of desirable grandeur."

She giggled, hit him playfully in the arm then reached for her computer. He reached out and grabbed the laptop before she could get to it. Said, "I might as well delete all the offensive material before you have another urge to give in to temptation."

"No!"

Lex started, a little taken aback by the vehemence in her voice. He peered at her questioningly, asked, "Why not?"

Chloe swallowed, took a shuddering breath, "Because they're mine and I don't want them deleted.

Lex immediately wondered what else he'd find on her computer. Wasn't sure if he really wanted to know. He stood up, carried the laptop over to the table on the far wall then turned and walked back to Chloe. He stopped in front of her, "What would you like me to do with them?"

She shrugged, "Can't you just put them on a flash drive or something? Then hold onto them I case I'm ever well enough to be trusted with them…"

Lex nodded, "Sure, I'll take your computer to work with me tomorrow and take care of it. You should have it back tomorrow. But you can't sneak computer time, Chloe."

Chloe relaxed visibly, nodded, "Thanks, Lex. I'll really try to be better."

"I know, Chloe. You've been doing well, but it takes time."

She was staring at the table in front of them, her hands still fidgeting slightly, but otherwise she looked almost content. Except for the deep line of worry between her brows.

She did that sometimes and it made Lex worry. Because he didn't want her to hurt for anything. Wanted to take all her pain and unhappiness and swallow it down so it could never touch her again.

He inhaled sharply, asked, "What are you thinking about, Chloe?"

She smiled faintly, looked completely lost as she replied so softly he had to strain to hear her. "Not being wanted."

Lex hated it when she said things like that. He knew he'd made some lousy choices in the past. Knew he was partly to blame for her self-loathing. Wanted to do something, anything to make her see herself as he saw her at this moment.

Lex growled in frustration then bent down, grabbed her by her upper arms and hauled her against his chest. He barely paused, just wrapped one arm around her waist, bringing his free hand up and cupping the back of her head. Took advantage of her gasp of surprise, and plunged his tongue between her parted lips.

She didn't struggle; she leaned into him, her hands clutching at his shirt, her mouth opening wider, her tongue and lips active on his own. She sighed into his mouth and drank it in, his grip on her tightening.

He felt as if his heart was going to pound right out of his chest. Felt as if his entire body was on fire. Stroked his tongue along her teeth, along her tongue, devoured her as best he could.

He ripped his lips from hers, rested his forehead against hers, and looked into her eyes. Said thickly, "I'll always want you."

She whimpered softly, one arm twining around his neck and stroking the back of his head. She pulled him closer, kissed him again. Whimpered and moaned against his mouth.

He released her suddenly, yanking her arm off of him and pushing her towards the hallway. He turned slightly away from her. "Now go, Chloe," he said hoarsely. "Please…be good and just go."

She stared at him, her eyes wide and questioning. She licked her lips, her eyes roaming over his body, pausing at his groin. Her breasts heaved, straining against her low cut top.

Lex groaned again, felt his cock pulse in his pants and he closed his eyes tightly. Silently begged that she would leave, that she wouldn't make a move towards him for fear he wouldn't be able to back down again.

Was equally relieved and annoyed when he finally heard her rush out of the room.

He cursed violently, rubbed his hands over hid face and cursed himself some more.

He sat down on the couch, leaned back and listened to the silence echoing around him.

Forced himself to ignore the ache in his balls.

Was almost glad for it.

Stared out at nothing and focused on his penance.


	11. Chapter 8: Takes two to Tango

**Chapter Eight –Takes two to Tango**

(part one)

Lex was going crazy.

And he wasn't entirely sure he'd ever be sane again.

It wasn't entirely Chloe's fault. She'd been on her best behavior since Lex returned her spin-n-span laptop. She'd quit teasing, annoying and infuriating him and had even gone out of her way to make their living arrangement more bearable for him.

And it was driving him insane.

Not that he wanted to be teased, annoyed or infuriated. He quite enjoyed the calmness of living with an amiable Chloe. But that didn't mean he didn't miss her less affable side.

It was like living with an alien and he just wasn't that fond of aliens in general.

He was also distressed by the fact her agreeable behavior removed all opportunities for him to lay even a platonic finger on her, and the lack of contact basically left him in a semi-erect state at all times.

It was positively infantile. And annoying as fuck.

He'd tried everything he could think of to take his mind off of his cock.

He'd even gone so far as planning to fuck some nameless blonde. He took her out on a date, quietly reveling in Chloe's indignant glare as he left to retrieve the faceless body he planned on taking his sexual aggression out on.

But then, not even halfway through dinner, he'd abandoned his initial plan and went directly to plan B – ditching the nameless, faceless chit in order to further torture himself by taking Chloe out for dessert, knowing full well the infinite amounts of torture this would inflict on his person.

He'd wanted to rip the ice cream cone from her hand and replace it with his cock, but instead went to plan B – a quick and efficient jerk-off in the sanctity of his own room, door locked, curtains drawn; room devoid of all secret recording devices.

That seemed like ages ago, but at this point one twenty-four hour period seemed like an eternity. He was at his breaking point and wasn't sure how much more he could take.

And now here he was, sitting in his weekly therapy session, unable to ignore the problem any longer. He didn't mean to say it. Never intended to say a word. Was a little stunned when he heard the words fall out of his big mouth.

"I kissed her."

_iWait. What?! _

_Fuck./i_

Dr. Abbott raised her brows at him, her eyes widening in surprise as she responded, "Really? And when did this happen?"

i_It didn't happen I made it up. A figment of my frustrated imagination_. _Wishful thinking and all that hokey jazz._/i

"A while ago now," he responded slowly, mentally kicking his own ass. "I was going to tell you before but it didn't turn into a relevant issue."

i_At least not to Chloe. It's completely relevant to me given my unadulterated love for someone who seems incapable of loving me in return_./i

She gave him a strange look, "How would it have become relevant?"

i_If the kiss had so moved her she'd confessed to being irrevocably in love with me_./i

Lex blinked, swallowed painfully, "If it had become an issue between us."

Dr. Abbott peered at him skeptically, "But it wasn't an issue?"

i_Yes. No. Maybe. What's the question again?/_i

"No," he replied. "It was like it never happened."

i_At least for her_./i

Dr. Abbott peered at him skeptically, asked, "What made you kiss her?"

i_Sexual frustration_./i

"She was upset."

"What was she upset about?"

"About feeling unwanted."

Dr. Abbott nodded, said, "I see."

_No you don't. I know you think you do, but you don't. You see nothing./i_

Lex wanted to drop it. He wanted to change the subject to something less bloody and painful, but couldn't stop the automatic explanation, "I couldn't let her continue to think that way and showing her exactly how much she was wanted seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Understandable."

i_Excuse me? This is actually logical to you?_/i

Lex frowned, "So I didn't fuck up?"

"I'd have to say no, but since this is the first I've heard of it, I can't say for sure."

"She didn't mention it?"

_It meant so little, she couldn't be bothered to bring it up to her therapist. How fucking quaint._

"No," Dr. Abbott replied almost tersely. "She didn't mention it at all."

"Is she in trouble?"

"Yes."

Lex smiled, said, "Good. It's about time."

Dr. Abbott smiled slightly, "Her being in trouble is amusing to you?"

"Quite. She always gloats whenever I end up in trouble. It's about time for her to have a turn."

"Want me to mention it in our group session? That way you can gloat appropriately."

_Fuck no._

"No thanks," he responded. "I'll pass."

"Why? I thought you wanted to gloat."

_I value my life. And my balls._

"I can gloat silently."

"Doesn't that defeat the purpose of gloating?"

_No. There's no need to brag._

"Yes, but Chloe's been so agreeable lately, I'd hate to ruin it."

Dr. Abbott tilted her head at him, said, "I think it's time for the next step."

"Which step is that?"

"I want you to take Chloe out."

"I take Chloe out all the time. How is that the next step?"

"I mean on a date."

"A date?"

Dr. Abbott laughed, "Yes, a date. A real date, as in she knows it's a date and you're not just pretending it is."

He glared at her, muttered, "I've done nothing of the sort."

She gave him a knowing look, "Either way, when you leave here I want you to go home and ask her out on a date. Take her somewhere quiet and intimate enough that you might be put in a potentially awkward situation."

"You want me to set us up for failure?"

"Not intentionally," she explained. "I want both of you to have to work at succeeding in the next step, but I don't want you to finagle any distinct scenario that you'll be predestined to fail. I'm just saying that you can't take her for pizza and a movie. Whatever you choose to do you have to have ample opportunity for intimacy, both emotional as well as physical."

"Physical?" he parroted.

i_As in naked_?/i

"Not that kind of physical intimacy."

i_Wait, did I say that out loud?/_i

He was looking at Dr. Abbott with what he could only presume was a very guilty expression, but he found it impossible to get him self together. He tried to school his features into mild indifference or cold neutrality, but all he could do was swallow, happy enough that he managed to close his mouth.

He really was going insane. Chloe had finally managed to do him in, and she didn't have to actually i_do/i_ anything. It just was. And that was it.

He was officially past the point of gone.

He was finished.

He sat there for what seemed like an eternity, teeth clenched together, eyes unblinking, palms sweating. Finally managed to nod then replied, "I can do that."

iBy the skin of my mother-fucking teeth maybe./i

By the time Lex got back to Chloe's apartment, he was literally talking to himself.

He let himself in and made his way towards the music in the living area.

Only to find Chloe in the most absurdly erotic yoga position he had ever seen.

Which left him standing in the middle of the room, frozen to the spot, totally ogling the sight of her, bent over at the waist, her firm, round ass high in the air.

Lex licked his lips, fisted his hands at his sides and croaked, "Chloe?"

She didn't bother getting her ass out of the air, instead actually shifted forward and toward him as she turned her head and smiled at him in greeting.

He glowered at her, muttered grumpily, "Do you think you could stand up for a moment?"

She raised a brow at him but thankfully did as he asked. She grabbed a hand towel and rubbed it over her neck, eyeing him questioningly as she said, "Did you want something?"

i_You_. _You. You_./i

Considered substituting some slight annoyance for the real something at hand. Instead did as he was told and jumped right in by asking, "Are you available this Friday night?"

She frowned, "I think so. Why?"

"I want to spend time with you."

"We live together, Lex. Isn't that enough time?"

He glowered at her some more, annoyed that she wasn't making this easier on him. Even more annoyed by the fact he couldn't tell if she was intentionally giving him a hard time or if she truly believed they already spent enough time together.

She gripped the towel between her hands, then raised them over her head. Stretched upward, her full breasts straining against the lycra of her top as she asked, "What did you have in mind?"

He forced himself to keep his eyes open and on her face. Replied, "Dinner and dancing."

Her eyes lit up, and her hands returned to her sides as she said, "Really?"

He breathed a silent sigh of relief and nodded, "Yes."

"That'd be like old times." She said almost forlornly.

"No," he murmured. "It wouldn't be anything like olds times."

Her brow furrowed slightly, "What do you mean, it won't?"

"This would be a date, Chloe, a real date with romantic intentions."

Her eyes widened and her hands clasped in front of her. "A date?"

"Yes."

"You're asking me out on a date?"

"Yes."

"Like a real I shave my legs and you pay kind of date?"

"Yes."

She seemed so confused he wished he could take it back. Wondered if maybe she'd completely forgotten all their previous conversations about his feelings for her.

But the she smirked at him, practically puffed her chest out in victory as she snorted, "I was beginning to think you'd resort to a note under my door."

He blinked and said, "Excuse me?"

"Well it certainly took you long enough."

"What are you talking about?"

"To ask me out. I was beginning to think you'd never get around to it."

He blinked again. Thought he might be hearing things. Thought maybe his addled brain was literally playing tricks on him.

But then she laughed and was suddenly directly in front of him, her arms around his neck and practically squeezing the life out of him.

"We're really doing this." she breathed against his shoulder. Not a question, just the truth.

He nodded against her hair and inhaled the musky scent of exertion. Wrinkled his nose slightly yet tightened his hold on her. Remained quiet for fear she'd pull away.

"Is this going to work, Lex? Do you think we're capable of having that kind of future?"

And he didn't know. Had no idea if he was capable of having and holding without ruining what he held. Couldn't even begin to believe that everything could be as easy as a simple date with the woman he loved.

Wanted so badly for it to be that simple.

Couldn't bear to begin with a lie.

Finally just said, "I'm not sure what the future holds for us, but on Friday, we Tango."

TBC


End file.
